To be a Christian...

It amazes me how sometimes being away from school only makes it more apparent the issues I have when I'm at school because I've realized what the normal world is like. Yup, that was a really vague sentence. I'll clarify. I go to school at a private Christian liberal arts university. Most of the population at our school are nice Christian kids. Because of the nature of this school, there are a few strange things that have popped up and stuck around, most notably, Ring-by-Spring, and the SPU Bubble.

Ring-by-Spring is always a heavily argued topic because people swear that it's not really there any more, and that our generation has moved beyond it. (For those who don't know, Ring-by-Spring references a Christian college culture where you should find your life partner and be engaged to them by the time you get to the spring of your senior year) The hilarious thing to me about this mentality is that every holiday season, and every spring, people left and right start getting engaged. *shrug* Perhaps it's just a strange reality.

Now the SPU Bubble, that's a harder one for me to just shrug off. What this refers to is the sheltered community that is set up at SPU, where all things are lovely and beautiful, full of God, and without dissent. Most everyone seems to be conservative Republicans, and evangelical Christians, ready to share the gospel with everyone around them. (Please note that I said seems, not is) I've now been here for four years, and I'm about ready to kick the next person who posts a Bible verse as a status, or talk constantly about all the work God is doing in their lives.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not stupid enough to run around telling people that their faith isn't important, or that it's all BS. I don't think that any faith crisis that I'm having should keep other people from their own faith, and I also understand that we have a freedom to openly talk about our faith. What kills me in these situations is how often the people who post things like that are in fact the ones being total jerks to people around them. If you're posting about how God is teaching you how to put Him front and center, that's awesome. But don't turn around and be a jerk to someone who just read that status. Because, let's just be frank, that's the very hypocritical behavior that non-Christians judge Christians for.

I hate saying it, too, because people assume that Christians should have it all figured out, and be perfect like they say they are. I know that it's not true. But I wonder...the best Christians I've seen in my life are the ones who are openly imperfect. They may cuss, or drink, or just openly state that they have no effing idea where they're going in life, but that they're trying to figure out their relationship with God as they go. People in my life who are like this, thank you. Out of all the types of people I've met at SPU, these people are the ones who have helped me maintain any semblance of faith. The ones who are constantly gushing about God are the ones I'm actually more likely to raise an eyebrow at, and get much more miffed if they turn around and bite my head off when they're stressed (which, strangely enough, has happened a lot over the last few years. What's up with that?).

I also worry very much about the kids I know who are in the SPU Bubble, because I wonder what is going to happen to them after they graduate. The first time they get in an argument with someone, and that someone isn't just going to say, "Oh honey, God wants me to forgive you, so I will!" Or the first time they bite someone else's head off, and the other person isn't thinking to themselves, "You know, I'm sure they're having a hard week with school, so I'll just let it pass that they just hurt me, and go pray for them instead." Nope, in the real world, people get pissed about behavior like that. I hope things go well for the kids that don't leave the Bubble until graduation, but I'm rather glad that I'm hanging out off to the side of the Bubble instead.

I want to be a good Christian, but sometimes, I think it's easier to try to just be a Christian, and not worry about being that crazy conservative Christian, Republican, soft-spoken, cookie-baking, Sunday school teaching, super-mom, pastor's wife that seems to be the ideal. I find I have a better time with my faith when it's okay that I'm loud, and sarcastic, a musician who can't decide if they even want kids, and someone who probably slips up with cuss words far too much for anyone else's comfort zone. I don't pray enough, or read my Bible, but I do try to have a relationship with God. I probably screw it up more than I get it right, but I'll keep trying until I can no longer do so. Having a faith crisis while at a Christian school is probably a bit weird, but then again, maybe not.

~Allison

Memories

It's amazing to me how soon the most exciting events begin to fade into hazy memories. How soon you can't remember if the time you played wii golf and tried to keep the gigantic golden retriever from attacking the wii-mote was on your 19th or 20th birthday. How very quickly you begin to wonder what memories you share with your friends and family that are really special.

Okay, a brief interlude here to get everyone out there on the same page as I am. It's rainy in Seattle...not drizzle-y like usual, but actually rainy. I've been working like crazy, and have spent a lot of days by myself, doing some interesting self-reflection. I sometimes wonder if I'm a bit crazy, but I actually enjoy these thoughts, even if sometimes they cause a bit of a twinge in my chest. Nonetheless, they aren't always happy thoughts, and if I'm not careful, they have been known to slowly spiral downwards and make me depressed. Rather than let the thought of memories and their significance spiral, I decided it would be a nice change to share some of this reflection with my closest friends and family (I consider you to be if you're reading this because you are taking your time to share something with me...and I'm incredibly honored by that).

So, back to that thought about memories...sometimes I wonder if I should have spent more time doing things that are memorable, or perhaps the real question is this: What have I done to maintain friendships with those people who have been there for some of the biggest moments in my life?

As I've gotten older, I've begun to really cherish the friends I have. The main group of friends that I've made since I've come to college create a group of people that I hope to always keep in contact with. As I come closer to graduation, however, I've begun to worry that I'll repeat my actions of the past, and just shut myself off from those wonderful people with the excuse of moving forward in my life.

I'm jealous of those people around me who go home and hang out with their old high school friends. Reminiscing about the past, talking excitedly about what their future holds, and just generally sharing in an ongoing friendship. I'll be the first to admit that I didn't really try to maintain friendships, and have hardly gone home since I left for college over four years ago. But when I see my friends posting pictures of fun parties, or sharing memories from awesome trips they took, that twinge in my chest occurs, and I wonder if I'm missing out. If I've incidentally messed something up because I don't have things like that to share with my friends. Does facebook count as maintaining friendships? Because part of me definitely feels like it's a hollow excuse for being connected to others.

This may be one of the rare occasions I ask for comments from you guys. Do you have any fantastic memories that stand out between you and I? Or you know, a moment where I opened my mouth and said something stupid and we laughed about it forever(I KNOW you guys all have memories like this).

Merry almost Christmas, guys. I hope you're having a fantastic holiday season, and enjoying the time to spend with friends and family!

~Allison

A How To for consumers during the holidays!

My dear, wonderful friends. I adore you all. You are all awesome, amazing people, and I hope that none of you have ever done anything I'm about to discuss. But, after nearly five years, and a whole LOT of different jobs in the retail/service industry, we need to have a talk about how to treat those who are serving you.

Before I get into this, I want to remind you of the biggest thing: those people at the cash registers, folding clothes around the stores in the mall, helping you find the cream of tartar in the grocery store, and waiting your tables are PEOPLE. Wonderful, (mostly) hard-working people who are trying to earn money, and do their job well, and often with less than ideal hours.

Issue #1: Please and Thank You
Remember a long, long time ago, when your parents told you that they wouldn't pass you dessert at the table until you said please? And then when they served you, you had to say thank you? This is still totally in effect, even if you're in your 20s and 30s. That waiter who you just stopped to refill your water glass may actually be racing to get an order in for another table so they won't have to wait for an extra 5 minutes for their food. Smile, and say thank you when they bring stuff to you!

Issue #2: Patience
You walk into your favorite coffee shop, and see that the line is to the door. All of the staff is busting their rear ends to get everything done, which doesn't include just making coffee. They're ringing orders, cleaning the seating area, brewing coffee, dumping overflowing garbage cans, retrieving basic items like milk or syrups. People are racing through their orders at the cash register as though the poor person ringing should remember that they want three half-decaf, soy, no-foam, 16 ounce lattes, but make one with an extra shot, one with a pump of vanilla, and one only 165 degrees, EXACTLY.
Sometimes, things slip up. I'm never more appreciative than when customers see that things are crazy, and something slipped, and their drink ended up with whipped cream when they asked for none, and they're actually okay with it! Did you know that if you actually are nice to your barista/waiter/busser/etc. they'll most likely remember you, and therefore work even harder to be nice to you the next time? And if you're nasty, they'll never forget. And you'll probably go down on some list of people that the employee will cringe when they walk in.

Issue #3: Technology
As an owner of an iPhone, I understand the allure of smartphones. So much information at your fingertips! But when you're having a human interaction (ordering food, purchasing clothes, etc.), that little piece of technology needs to go away. Not maybe, not sometimes, but every time. Ordering food for a friend? Have them write down their order for you, and maybe some options in case they don't have what they want. Please don't stand there on the phone with them, discussing every option while you're at the head of the line making others wait and your server trying their hardest not to roll their eyes at you.

Issue #4: Large Parties
You know how a lot of restaurants automatically charge gratuities for parties of 8 or more? There is good reason. Working with a large party of people who all want exactly what they want, which probably won't at all coincide with what everyone else in the group wants, and can you split the check 5 ways, and do you mind if we pull up another table, and we need extra silverware...tip nicely, guys. Which leads me to:

Issue #5: Tipping
Did you know, in many states, servers are paid under minimum wage because their tips make up much of what they earn? Similarly, most servers and people who work in restaurants live more off of the tips they make than they do on their hourly wage. Also, in case you didn't realize, a base minimum tip should be 10% (based off of the amount your dinner cost after tax). Minimum. And that's only if they did a completely wretched job serving you. 10% tells your server that you have decency, but that they need to step up their work. 15% is good if they've done an okay job, but something may have been wrong, or service was slow. 20% should be what you aim to give. They're doing their very best, even in often less than ideal circumstances. Keep this in mind: much of the time, servers don't get to keep all of their tips. Tips can go into a pool with everyone else's tips, and you get the average based on how many hours you worked, or each server gets their own tips, but has to give a certain percentage of those away to their bussers and the kitchen staff. So if you tip 20%, the server may only get 10-15% of those tips.

And finally, I have a special note to those who stuck with me through this blog. Most of you know that I'm a Christian, and a young adult. I want to share with you something important: the two worst types of people for tipping fairly and treating people with respect and dignity are: Christians and young adults. And guys, this is a huge problem.
Think of it this way: You get done with church in the morning, and you and your friends decide to pop into a cafe to get some coffee and maybe a pastry. You're discussing the sermon when the server comes up (or when it's your turn to order), and you spend a while trying to figure out what to order, but instead of asking them to come back, they stand waiting patiently as each of you figure out what you want. (Doesn't seem like a big deal, right?) They bring back your food and coffee, but accidentally switch a plate or two. You sigh, roll your eyes, and switch them back in front of them, continuing your discussion which has now moved to what kind of worship music would have been appropriate for the service today. You forgot to say thank you, or even smile at your server. When they bring your check, you and your friends have to have it split up, so everyone is paying for their own meal. Only one person has cash, and some people have some coins, so altogether, you've left a $3 tip, mostly in change.
That server has been watching you, and listening. When I notice a customer is a Christian, I pay attention to how they act, and how they treat me. And you know that old proverb, "Actions speak louder than words?" It's completely true.
It's terrible to me that I cringe when I have to work Sunday mornings when we have what's called the "church rush." It makes me sad that people don't realize that their treatment of other people will have a huge impact on whether or not their server will ever want to step foot in their church. And by the way, just because I work Sunday mornings does not make me a heathen. I do it because I make money that way, and it fits my schedule.

So please, please be nice this holiday season. People are working overtime, and they're as tired of dealing with customers as the customers are of shopping. Tip your baristas and servers, and when they ask how you're doing, maybe try genuinely asking how they're doing too! (And smile!)

Allison

Christmas is coming!

...and the goose is getting fat! Well, this goose isn't getting fat, but she is going to be working a lot for the next few weeks.

The quarter is SO close to being done. I have half of a class worth of theory II finals to grade as a favor to one of my professors (who is currently on a tour in Asia...so cool!), some grades to adjust and put into blackboard for aural skills, and then I'm free! It's been quite the whirlwind of a quarter, and I'm so glad it's over. The realization that I'm a third of the way through my senior year is a bit mind-boggling.

I've also realized that all of those post-college plans I've made for the last few years are basically void. I have absolutely no clue where I'm going to be going after college, or what's going to be happening. Heck, I'm not even sure what's going to be going on in February and March. This year is turning into a long-lasting lesson in living each day as it comes, and not worrying about tomorrow. I'll find out this month if I get to audition for grad schools, then I start buying airline tickets, fly out to different schools, then in March and April find out if I'm even going to get to go to grad school at all. It's incredibly nerve-wracking, and yet, I'm learning peace.

I'm definitely going to enjoy a few weeks away from school. I'm very glad to see that I'm getting to work a lot, though still only part-time, so I'll have plenty of time for making Christmas presents and practicing horn. I finished my shawl that I've been working on for the last few months while spending some time up in Snohomish hanging out with Jordon. Since he's stuck on the couch after an ankle surgery, I got to have plenty of time to work through the long process of binding off somewhere around 350 stitches (the longest part of any shawl, it seems) while he played some Halo.

I've already cast on my next project...my mom's Christmas present :) (Yes, Mom, you're finally getting something hand knit by me! I finally have enough confidence to make you something that I know you'll show off to your friends!) I already purchased a few other presents, and decided to be as simple for all of my family as possible with my Christmas list.

You ready for this extensive list? Here it is:
1. Money to go to paying for my new horn.

Yup, I know. It's huge! (Also, my inner English lover is cringing that I made a list with a 1. but no 2.) But, realistically, I don't need more stuff. I could really use help paying off my horn before I start purchasing plane tickets. Things are looking pretty positive financially right now, though I'm trying to keep living fairly frugally so things stay positive.

I'm very thankful right now for all of my friends who have stuck with me through all of the turmoil this quarter. It's been insane for everyone, and I'm kind of amazed how we all stayed together, even when half our time was spent biting each others' heads off. Overall, I think it turned out rather positively. I still have all my friends, including some of the more awesome best friends a girl could ever ask for. (You know who you are!)

Now I get to go head towards bed because I get to work tomorrow morning first thing! Working all the hours, bringing in all the money!

Allison

The chaos of fall quarter

It never ceases to amaze me how fall quarter always ends up being insane. When school starts up in September, my friends and I often look at each other and ponder how many classes we're taking, and how we took on a lot (probably too much) because we knew how refreshed we would be after nearly four months without classes. You'd think after four years, we would learn. Nope.

You see, fall quarter is very inappropriately named. It starts in the summer, and yes, leaves do fall for a majority of the ten weeks, but by about week four of the quarter, we're already playing Christmas music in band and orchestra. Don't get me wrong, I love Christmas music, and I always look forward to playing it; I just never notice fall coming, or going, because we pretty much go from summer to winter overnight.

This leads to the problem: when you load yourself up for this first quarter back after a long rest, you tend to forget that you're setting yourself up for two to three weeks of absolute hell. Those of you on semester systems with dead weeks? We look at you and wish we had that luxury. My last three weeks of this quarter will include (and have included, since we're on week 9) five concerts, three dress rehearsals (not on same day as concert), three weekends of work being disrupted, approximately 80 hours of work, one trip to Canada, two finals, two huge final papers, one musical presentation, and one Black Friday shift that begins at 3:30 AM (plus quite a few other opening shifts, though they pale in comparison to that one).

I may get to Christmas break and just pass out for a week.

I am glad that I get to see my family this week, and have a little spare time to keep working on graduate applications, and work lots of hours to afford said applications. Did you know that graduate applications for music average around $100 an app? Bleh. I am happy to report that two got submitted today, and one is almost ready to go!

I also have officially decided to purchase this horn that I've been play testing, as I really enjoy playing it, and love how it sounds (apparently it makes me sound better than I expected). Money, as always, is tight, but this is a big investment, and I'm willing to work my rear off to be able to afford it. It will also help when I can sell my old horn.

It's a big quarter, and I'm still a little overwhelmed with how much there is to do, but I'm glad to see my to-do list getting shorter every day!

~Allison

Learning to adapt

I got to have a new experience today. I was "borrowed partner" at another store in my district, which means doing the very same things I do at my store, but it wasn't quite the same. Suddenly nothing was where I was used to it being, and the people around me had a system that I didn't quite fit into. By the end of my seven hours there, however, I started to get into a groove, and began to see the little tasks that I could do that others weren't doing. All in all, it was a really fun experience, and I enjoyed getting to meet new people who do the same thing I do, just a little differently.

Adapting seems to be the theme of this year for me. Suddenly the people I got so used to having around me are off, living their lives (especially those who have graduated), and those of us who are now seniors are also living our lives, working jobs, getting married, and prepping for the next steps in life. Not entirely to be expected, James and I decided to take a definite next step for the future, and decided that being together wasn't best for either of us. It was rather sudden, but not entirely unexpected.

I've definitely struggled to transition into this new part of my life, and have been amazingly blessed with all the love and support that my friends have given me. As much as it hurts, both James and I have agreed that we've started to grow and develop ourselves, and are learning to enjoy the time we have now.

Meanwhile, I've been on the fast track getting my recordings and paperwork ready for my grad school applications. I can say that my application and materials are officially ready for Eastman School of Music (my first choice school), and I've already begun my applications for two other schools. I had quite the celebration for the end of recording my solos yesterday, as suddenly it felt like the weight of the world had been lifted off of my shoulders. I'm really proud of the recordings and materials I came up with for my application, and I'm very hopeful that I'll get to do a live audition in February.

I'm more aware now than ever that I have no idea what the future will hold for me. I know where I want to go, and the goals I have in mind. I'm also realizing that being flexible and ready for anything is going to be just as important as having a plan set for myself. At least no one can say that my life is boring, least of all me. I'm excited for seeing what the future holds, though I hope not all of it is full of hard lessons in being flexible. Live and learn!

Senior Year: Week Three

I'm sure everyone remembers the last post, in which I stated how much was going on in my life, and how overwhelming it was. (If you don't, stop reading, scroll down to the next entry, then come back when you're done!) Well, it was overwhelming. And now I'm sick. Not horribly sick. Not the throwing up, can't move out of bed, only getting up to pee and take more medication kind of sick. Rather, I have a super stuffed nose that occasionally feels the need to drain and give me a sore throat, and a ton of sinus pressure that threatens to make my head explode from underneath my eyes. 

I started getting sick on Thursday, which most people would look at and say, "Well, at least you had the weekend coming up!" Haha. I work Friday through Monday opening at Starbucks (there goes sleep), and I had to record my excerpts for my prescreening for Eastman on Saturday, and go out and do headshots with Curtis on Sunday. The symptoms definitely come and go throughout the day, depending on what I'm doing and what time of day it is. It makes it hard to predict how I'll feel at any given time, because one day at work I had to drink honeyed tea just to be able to talk through my sore throat, and the next day at the same time I was sneezing every minute, but my throat was fine. 

One of my professors sat me down today to talk to me about my work load, and how I've been taking the world on my shoulders. He basically ordered me to find an assistant (and someone to come in and replace me in the library after I graduate). He's right, as much as I hate to admit it. If I'm not willing to give anything up, then I need to get help doing what I can't do by myself. 

As for this past weekend, both major events went pretty well, in my opinion. I feel good about how I sounded in my recordings (especially after finding a recording of a pitiful attempt at Mozart 4 I did my senior year of high school and comparing it to my best recording from Saturday. What a difference four years of hard work can make!) and what little I saw on the screen of Curtis' camera makes me feel good about how I looked (and how good his photography skills are! Seriously, you should all go check out his work. Curtis Chapman Simpson IV). I look forward to the (hopefully) easier next round of recording solos with my accompanist, and getting to see the fabulous edited pictures. 

This next week looks to be full of preparing for the solo recordings, and finishing up everything in my application for Eastman (and beginning the others!). I have an appointment on Thursday with one of the ladies in the Center for Career and Calling at SPU to help me with this strange case of writers' block I'm having with my personal statement for ESM. I hope she'll be able to look at what I have so far and help me expand it to be what they're looking for. 

It's a big week ahead, with lots to do, so I hope all of you who are awesome enough to read this every time I post would think positively for me, both that I'm successful in all these crazy adventures and that my illness will go away. 

Thank you for always reading and sharing this journey with me!

Allison

Back in the Saddle - Senior Year Edition

We're already on day three, but I've only just found half a second to stop and update everyone. This breeze of a school year? Yeah...ha ha.

I was really excited to get my job at Starbucks last spring, seeing as it's a chance to have a job I can hold onto outside of school, and maybe even transfer to a new location when I go to grad school. I held 20-30 hours all summer, and finally got enough hours to qualify for benefits. Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you look at it), I got promoted at my school job, and now will be working 15 hours a week. Now, I know working full-time while doing full-time school has been done before, but I'm pretty sure I'm not the one to try it. On the upside, all three jobs at school that get me up to that 15 hours are jobs I enjoy. I was just the band librarian, but I have now been promoted to Instrumental Librarian, which means I take care of both band and orchestra. In many ways, this is great. We're completely re-organizing the library, and now I can take complete control without worrying about stepping on another librarian's toes. Unfortunately, it also means I'm responsible for the ENTIRE library. I'm also LA Coordinator for our new Aural Skills program, which means I'm in charge of the LAs (Learning Assistants) who work with small groups of freshmen on their aural skills twice a week. With a huge incoming class (there are 66 freshman in first year aural skills!), this means that I'm now in charge of 16 main LAs and 2 substitutes, 7 more people than last year. Oh, and my last job? That's the best one...I'm a practice room monitor on Saturday afternoons. Who could turn down an opportunity to get paid to practice? (Well, and also keep the practice rooms clean and fairly secure) However, with everything there is to do getting the ensembles set up for the school year, I'm left on the edge of being overwhelmed with how much there is to do. It's still manageable, especially considering I have almost the whole day to work on it on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, but it's still pretty daunting.

On the more exciting end of things, I came back from New York on a big high. I've settled down into school some, but I'm still pretty excited about horn and grad school. This next month will be lots of hard work getting ready for my pre-audition for Eastman School of Music (which I just found out I should have ready by November 1st, instead of by the December 1st deadline like I had originally thought). Fortunately it's just about the same material I had ready for my lessons last week, so just more work on the same stuff. I'm really excited to get this done, but it's also super intimidating. There's part of me (somewhere in the back of my head) that wonders what's going to happen if I don't get past the pre-audition. I can't afford to think that way, but sometimes the thoughts still creep in.

Practicing is going well, even with all the work that needs to be done. I've pretty much maintained being "jet lagged" so that I can get up really early without too much trouble. Considering I have to wake up at 4 or 5 for Starbucks, it's actually a lot easier just consistently waking up early rather than constantly switching my sleep schedule around. It's also wonderful to practice early enough in the morning that no one else is there. 7 am is a quiet time in Crawford! My goal is to keep my face up in really good condition, putting in 3 hours of practice a day, maybe even 4 on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.

I also got to talk to my awesome friend Curtis, who's a professional photographer, about getting some really high quality head shots, since those are going to be more necessary as I keep going in this. Plus, who wouldn't want some really good pictures of them all dressed up with their instrument? Hopefully I'll be able to use them for my senior recital posters in the spring too.

Basically, the last three days have been a continual thought process about either two things: work or horn. Not a bad combination, but I am excited for Friday night when I get to finally hang out with friends! Here's to pretending to have a social life!

Allie

NY Trip: Day Five

This definitely will be one of my shorter posts, but it definitely was an interesting day.
Having stayed up til 2 AM the night before, I made the executive decision to sleep in until 10 the next morning (not that it worked. I'm too much of a morning person). Once I was up and moving, I went into the practice rooms and had a nice long warm up. I was lucky enough to get a room with a window, and since it was open, I could hear dozens of other people practicing. It was actually pretty cool to feel like I was joining in this great cacophony of sound, no one more important than anyone else, and no one really listening to the others as they concentrated on their own improvement.
After Billy got done with his Italian test (which I quizzed him on the night before...turns out I speak decent Italian thanks to my five years of Spanish!), we went and got lunch. Another horn player, Abby, joined us, and she asked how my lesson with PK had gone (which I thought was cool. Lots of people asked how it went, what I played, etc.).
After lunch was probably the highlight of my day: visiting the Eastman bookstore. It's like a normal university bookstore, but with study scores and method books and manuscript paper. I was in heaven. I also couldn't help but splurge on three new horn method books that I've been needing/wanting for a while. I didn't get to stay long however, because I had a very brief window of time before Caitlin and Billy had rehearsal and I had to grab my stuff out of Caitlin's room.
I ended up catching a taxi to the Amtrak station, and got there about 45 minutes before my train. The schedule said that I'd get on at 2:33 pm and get to Penn Station by 9:45 pm. But, of course, not all travels can go smoothly.
Somewhere out past Syracuse, we hit some construction and were stuck moving very slowly behind another train for almost an hour (we actually came to a complete stop for around 15 minutes). I began to panic a little as I had been burning through all the classical music on my iPod. On the upside, however, NY State is really a beautiful place. It reminded me a lot of Washington, but with no mountains, and very few (if any?) evergreens. I ended up getting into Penn Station somewhere around 11:45 pm (a 10 hour train ride...don't sign me up again for a while), having spent the last couple hours seeing how many Beethoven symphonies I could listen to. I ended up listening to 2, 3, 5, 6, and 7. Perhaps today on my flight home I'll get to the last 4 of them.
My hostel last night was a very different experience than the earlier one. I ended up in a mixed gender room, full of adults (rather than the last hostel which mostly had people my age). I also got to experience the awkwardness of overhearing someone masturbate as I was going to sleep. So awkward, and yet I had to laugh at the ridiculous situation. What is a trip without some good stories to tell?
It's almost time for me to check out of my hostel and head out to the airport. I've truly loved this whole experience, long train rides and awkward roommates included. I've found a school that felt like home, teachers who were (and are!) fantastic, and a great goal to strive towards for the next few months. Plus, apparently my entire music department is waiting on the edge of its collective seat to hear about this trip. I never thought traveling would make me a sensation, but it has made me really feel like a new person. I'm so ready for the adventure of senior year, and can't wait to see what happens next!
See you soon, Seattle!
Allie

NY Trip: Days Three and Four

Because these last two days have really the whole purpose of going out to NY, it's been pretty crazy, with very little time to stop and update. There's so much to talk about, and so little time before I probably start forgetting pieces.
Wednesday, I woke up early to get prepped and ready for my first lesson. Because the lesson was fairly early in the morning, I wasn't able to warm up in the hostel. Instead, I went down to Lincoln Center, and using my straight mute, warmed up in a grove of trees between the Met and Avery Fisher Hall (NYP). I actually had forgotten my checkbook back at the hostel, so after my warmup, I ended up jumping back on the subway to grab that. I still arrived back at the Met with plenty of time to spare before my lesson with Michelle Baker.
The lesson itself went pretty well. I was very impressed getting to go into the depths of the Met's backstage area, and it was pretty cool to go inside the pit for a bit. In our lesson, we covered three excerpts: Till Eulenspiegel (opening), Tchaikovsky 5 (1st horn solo), and Shostakovich 5 (which by far, scares me the most...low and loud!).
We concentrated mainly on breathing and she taught me a new, interesting way to use my diaphragm, expanding it outward rather than pulling it in to gain support. We also discussed airflow, and making sure that my air went all the way through my horn, rather than my tendency to play only to the end of my lead pipe.
After my lesson with Michelle, I had a few hours, and decided to go back to the hostel, take a nap, and relax before my next lesson at 3.
My next lesson with Al was at his place, not far from my hostel. I decided to walk there, finding some lunch on the way. Despite taking my time eating at a fun diner, I still got to his place nearly 45 minutes early, so I kept walking another block to a cool park. I sat and knit, enjoying the sunshine, while a guy sat nearby playing some quiet, peaceful guitar.
When 2:55 rolled around, I got to Al's place, and rang the bell to get inside. After getting buzzed in, I climbed up the stairs and was greeted by the most lovable old shepherd/heeled mix named Abby. By far, that was the best beginning to a lesson I've gotten to have. She proceeded to lie down and nap through my lesson, but it was nice knowing she was there. Al was incredibly nice, and I never felt nervous in front of him. We started by having me play the first movement of Strauss 1, which went pretty well. He had some notes on a few of my mistaken articulations, and even complimented my breathing, ear, and tone. (kind of funny since only 4 hours earlier I had heard how little I was breathing.)
We went on to play Mahler 1 (low Frere Jaques excerpt), Tchaikovsky 5, Ravel Pavan, Beethoven 3, and Strauss Ein Heldenleben. He had a lot of positives to say about my playing (good breathing, pitch, rhythm, and musicality) and we worked a lot on my beginnings of phrases (definitely the thing I struggle with most).
I learned a lot of helpful things from him, and came out of the lesson feeling good about my playing, but also inspired to get so much better. He also said we covered a lot of details he wouldn't normally cover in a first lesson. He also may have helped me begin to overcome my hatred of Conn 8Ds. We'll see if I can find one that I like...
He also encouraged me that everyone takes their own path in music, and told me that I have plenty of talent and potential, and that I'm smart, so he could see me doing just fine getting into grad school after my undergrad.
After my lesson, I headed back to the hostel to get dressed for going to the opening night of the New York Philharmonic. Al had given me comp tickets for the show, which was incredibly cool, and made me feel like some kind of insider to an exclusive club.
The concert itself was AMAZING! The first piece was a 20th century work for piano, timpani (both of which onstage with the conductor) and a menagerie of instruments like tons of percussion, harmonicas, a horn, some strings, trumpet, trombone, etc., all of whom were standing at the back of the hall, on three different levels. It was very different, but I loved the surround sound effect. The second piece on the program was Beethoven's 3rd piano concerto. The orchestra was well balanced, especially when the had to stay below the soloist, and my gosh, the pianist was fantastic.
After intermission was when the real amazement began. They doubled the size of the orchestra, and launched into Rite of Spring. It was mind-blowing! The horns were incredible, the full orchestra was spot on, and it got so loud that my ears were ringing for a half hour after they stopped. They definitely deserved all three rounds of applause, and the standing ovation.

Day Four:
The next morning was an early one. I got up at 5 to catch my airport shuttle to JFK at 5:30. My flight didn't board until 8:50, so I had plenty of time to knit and just chill until it was time. Once we boarded, we found out something was wrong, and ended up sitting at the gate for another 30 minutes until it was fixed. Once we got in the air, it was a very short flight up to Rochester.
I was definitely excited about getting to Eastman and seeing Billy, my horn-playing friend that I met in Florida. The excitement was tempered a bit by the discover at baggage claim that the handle in my suitcase had broken...no one likes finding out they have to lug 30+ pounds of suitcase rather than rolling it. Nonetheless, I got a taxi to Eastman (my very first taxi ride!) and was able to get into a practice room to warm up.
By 1, Billy's friend Caitlin (another horn player who was nice enough to let me stay in her room), came to my rescue and both let me dump off all my stuff in her room, but also got lunch with me. I got to meet a bunch of awesome people, who were all incredibly supportive of me as my nerves started to kick in for my 3:30 lesson with Professor Kurau.
I managed to have time to get some buzzing on my mouthpiece just before my lesson, and then found my way to his office.
We talked for a minute as I came in, and I confessed that I was rather nervous. He kind of played a mind game with me, saying that he should be the one to be nervous, since I was evaluating his teaching. We took some deep breaths, and once I felt relaxed, we delved into my etudes.
We started with Kopprasch, and he immediately found some different things to fix, such as smoothing out my articulation, and helping to equalize note volumes. We next covered Maxime-Alphonse, where there was more work on articulation, as well as working to project shorter notes (such as 16th notes) and those in my middle to low range.
He asked what I wanted to play next, so I jumped on the opportunity to play the first movement of the Gordon Jacob concerto. He had a lot of really awesome ideas about interpretation, as well as more to say about articulation and volume. The most amazing part of the lesson was when he isolated exactly how I was tonguing, and had me adjust everything and suddenly, though it was awkward to change such well-established habits, my sound became clearer, and articulating was easier. Everything he said was incredibly clear, and he was very demonstrative. It was amazing how much it helped to have him do different things such as hold my horn at precisely the angle that was best for bringing out low notes, or when he helped explain how to drop my jaw and open my oral cavity without spreading my lips.
He continued to have great insight through Tchaikovsky 5, and I came out of the lesson with many great tips and ideas I know I want to work on. I also made sure to ask about how many grad openings he expected (2) for next year, and I expressed to him how much I already had begun to like Eastman and the people there. I think it was an incredibly insightful lesson.
After my lesson, I got to change back into normal street clothes (I don't want to see my heels and slacks for a while), and went for really awesome pizza with Billy. He gave me a tour of the Eastman Theater, which is spectacular, and then just hung out until there was a horn sectional at 9. I really enjoyed watching and listening, and despite how young they all were (freshmen and sophomores), they really did sound fantastic.
I'm now on day five of this crazy trip, and on the train from Rochester back to NYC for my last night in NY. I miss Eastman, and the people there so much. I actually started tearing up as I left, just because I never thought I would find a place with everything I could ever want in a school: amazing teacher, great location, supportive, wonderful peers, and tons of opportunity. I know I'm ready to be home in my own bed, but I'll truly miss Eastman the most of everything.
I'll be home tomorrow night, then work Sunday morning, and school starts Monday. What a whirlwind!
Until later,
Allie

NY Trip: Day Two

Today was much more chill than yesterday, or at least it seemed much lower in stress level. To help counteract jet lag, I went to bed as soon as I felt tired, which was 10:30 EST. I set no alarms so I would guarantee a full nights sleep, and to help make sure I wasn't disturbing all eleven of my roommates.
I woke up this morning around 7:30, feeling a bit groggy and with a headache, but otherwise fine. Hardly anyone else was stirring, so after a half hour checking my email, Facebook and twitter, I went back to sleep. 8:30 apparently was a better time to wake up.
After getting ready, I set out for Starbucks (I found one a block from the hostel) to grab a smoothie and banana bread, then caught the 1 and E trains down to the World Trade Center. It was crazy how much construction is going on down there, and also how tall all the skyscrapers are!
I didn't get to see the memorial, but the fact that I was at the site where thousands of people had lost their lives was incredibly powerful. I think I even teared up a little.
I proceeded to walk around, up towards City Hall. I took a break and sat by the waterfall in City Hall Park, then realized how close to the Brooklyn Bridge I was. Having decided to walk across the bridge, I set out, not realizing how LONG it is. Also, it was super windy. (you all will see when I get home and upload the pictures off my camera)
When I got to Brooklyn, I found the closest subway station, and went to catch the train back to Manhattan. Not realizing which direction was which, I incidentally caught the train going further into Brooklyn. It was sort of a laughable moment as the realization hit me, I stuffed my knitting back into my bag, and got off the train at the next stop. Two trains later, I was back at the hostel, rather hot (gosh, it's muggy here!) and footsore.
While I had been walking around today, I also got a call from one of the teachers I'm meeting tomorrow to tell me that it would be really hard to get me a pass to use the practice rooms at MSM (these kids practice so much, they have to sign up for rooms the night before! Crazy!). So, making a positive of the strange situation, I used my straight mute, while sort of hunched over in my bunk bed, to practice my horn. My face felt good, notes were there, and I'm excited for tomorrow! I have no idea where I'll warm up, but I'll cross that bridge when it comes, I suppose.
The rest of this evening looks to be pretty quiet, though I may wander the neighborhood to find something awesome for dinner. Then probably some more relaxing, knitting, and reading before my big day tomorrow!
And even more today than yesterday, I am so in love with this city! I hope that this trip will help all my hard work pay off, and tell me if this is where I get to be...so many nerves, and so much excitement! Truly, I've found what I want to do for the rest of my life.

Allie

NY Trip: Day One

So, today has mostly been full of travel. I got up and the most indecent time on the planet (3:45 AM), to catch my rather early flight (6AM). The good news? I was so exhausted, I slept for the first hour! I knit and listened to music for the nearly three hours after my nap, and only got restless near the last hour.
I had my stop at O'Hare, and expected only 20 minutes between flights. I was hungry (American apparently only serves drinks?), so I grabbed lunch and sat at my gate, where a flight to Austin was boarding. I chilled there for a few minutes, then started noticing that the waiting area was almost empty aside from those passengers boarding. Lo and behold, my flight had been cancelled! No big deal, though. They had automatically put me on the next flight, putting me only 35 minutes behind schedule.
When I finally got on the plane, I had the pleasure of having someone nearly my age sitting beside me (she was 26). We ended up talking for the entire flight from Chicago to New York. She was deeply interested in my degree, my future, and my trip. And goodness, she was full of great advice about what to see! It was awesome having someone friendly to talk to, and even though I know it probably won't happen, I hope our paths cross again.
When I got off of the plane, I got my bag at the baggage check and found public transportation. Very conveniently, there was a bus that ran from LGA to almost my hostel. It took an hour to do it, but once I got to sit down, I didn't mind a bit. Also, the bus had a luggage rack! These people are brilliant!
I got all checked into my hostel, which is amazing and worth the money, and headed over to MSM (Manhattan School of Music) to scope things out and see if I could practice. Turns out I couldn't (I called the teachers I'm meeting on Wednesday to see I'd they could get me admitted), but it was so cool how close MSM is to Columbia University. This all makes me want to go there so much!!!
After dropping my horn off back in my locker at the hostel, I took the subway down to Times Square. I felt so silly as a tourist, snapping pictures left and right, but it was worth it. I wandered uptown, after stopping to eat a hotdog from a street vendor, and made it all the way to 50th St before I decided I was tired and wanted to get back. I caught the subway, but did get off one more time to see Lincoln Center.

I think I found where I want to be. Seriously. Now I'm just praying that I can get here and go to school!

Til tomorrow!
Allie

A post concerning the insanity of planning a trip to NYC

I realize it's a strange title, and most of you probably clicked on this because you have heard bits and pieces, and are dying to hear the whole story...or at least the reason I'm going to NYC in the first place. Let's start at the beginning, shall we?

So, starting a year or so ago, I started being very driven in my goal of going to graduate school in music performance on horn. With that in mind, I looked to some of my awesome professors to give me advice what I needed to do. One of the pieces of advice I was given was to go take lessons with as many people as I could, mostly to get myself out there, hear different opinions about my playing, and also to help me make the decision where I wanted to go for grad school. I filed this information away, knowing that I might need it eventually, but knowing that at the time, I couldn't afford to do something crazy like fly across the country just for a lesson or two.

Well, fast-forward to this summer. I'm in full grad-school-preparation mode now, and having basically done that sort of whirlwind trip once this summer (look back a couple posts if you haven't heard about my trip to Daytona Beach, FL), and also being a little more financially capable this year with my job at the Bucks, I decided it was time to go for it. Let me tell you, coordinating lessons with four professional horn players nearly two months out is a logistical nightmare. It's also very nerve-wracking if you've never done something like that before. I was positively scared silly at the prospect of hitting the "send" button on the emails. James actually had to talk me into it for a couple of them.

So, after finally hitting send, I got to start the waiting process. The first horn teacher got back to me that evening, which was really exciting! The second reply came two days later...and then I got to wait for another two weeks. Now, because I was aiming to get lessons with all four, I couldn't really confirm with the first two until I had heard from the last two. I also happened to know that one of those who hadn't replied was out of the country, and had limited internet access. I hate waiting, and practically jumped every time my phone buzzed that I had an email. Meanwhile, the time to buy plane tickets came up, and I leaped when I saw I could get round trip tickets from Seattle to NYC for only $330. Unfortunately, I still didn't know when those lessons would be, so I decided to go for the widest window I could manage: leaving Seattle Monday morning, and then returning from NYC on Saturday evening.

After two weeks with no replies, I decided to send another email, just in case they had missed the original one. It turns out to be a good thing I did...both of them had missed the original one somehow. So, now all four lessons were set up...or at least I had an idea when they wanted to meet. All of them apparently are available on the same three days. Another fun aspect to this was the fact that one of the professors isn't in NYC at all, but teaches at Eastman School of Music in Rochester, NY.

I honestly can't give you a more detailed description of my schedule than this yet since we're still hashing things out. I do know that I'm heading up to ESM Thursday morning, and returning to NYC Friday morning. Thankfully, I can crash on a friend of a friend's floor for the night I'm up there. My wallet is thankful too! I'm happy to report that I now have all the big stuff booked and ready to go: hostel, plane tickets, and the general idea of a schedule. Plus! I get to see the NYP (New York Philharmonic) in their opening concert of the 2012-2013 season...Rite of Spring! So totally psyched!

~~~~

A midst the insanity of planning this trip, I also became an aunt this week! Actually...last night :) I'm a little sad that I'm not able to fly down and meet her because the ridiculous amount of money I'll be spending this year, but they might come up to my senior recital in May. Can't wait :)

Until next time!

~(Auntie) Allie

DIY Wall Decals

I've now done this three times in two years...I really wanted one of those cool wall decals, but either I didn't have the money, or the selection just wasn't what I was looking for. So, being an inspired and rather crafty college student (and with the introduction to such things by my college roommate, Chloe), I discovered the art of making my own wall decals out of black duct tape.

My very first "decal"

Now before you start freaking out about putting duct tape on the wall, don't worry! We're not sticking it straight to the wall. We'll be using paper to back the sticky part of the duct tape, which leaves you free to use whatever adhesive you want. This is great for those apartments where you're afraid to stick things to the wall that may not come off, or you want to limit holes in the walls. I will warn you, both of my really large decals are held up using a few staples in addition to the adhesive, just to help make sure they really stay.

So, here we go! Step one in this process is to figure out what your image is. Now, my first two decals were more of a general "idea" of what I wanted. I wanted a branch, so I just sort of drew it. The second one was a full out tree, so I got a general idea (I used a rubber stamp I found at a craft store), blew up the image as large as I wanted, and came up with my own variation on the original image.

My tree! That's our couch that seats three people comfortably, so about 7-8 feet wide!

It helps if your image is one color for this type of project, or that you're willing to make it more of an outline of the original image. For this tutorial, I'll be using my latest project: The Doors of Durin (which most people probably know as the entrance to the Mines of Moria from Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring).

The original image (care of tolkiengateway.net)

I started by tracing the original drawing from my roommate's copy of the book. I wanted to make sure that it was pretty accurate, though we left the scripting until later to be done freehand. Here's what I came up with:

After tracing the basic parts of the original image, we measured our drawing to discover that it was something like 3 1/2" wide and 4 1/2" tall. I drew a grid using 1/8" markings, giving us a grid 27 wide, 37 tall. (Please note, if you're free-handing your drawing, you really don't have to do this step. We just wanted to make sure our proportions were picture-perfect!) We then did some conversions, figuring that because the wall we were putting it on was about 7 1/2 feet tall, 1/8" = 2 1/2".

My lovely roommate measuring out our grid on the giant piece of paper we made! (See the little drawing? That's the original...)

For our paper, we used one of those kids drawing art pads of paper you can get at any large chain store (like Walmart, Fred Meyer, etc.). We used the largest size, 22" x 16", so we could have the most paper with the least number of pages. We taped them together roughly. As long as they're secured together enough not to move around a whole lot, the duct tape will do the solid securing. 

TIP: Try to overlap your paper as little as possible. When it comes to the part where you trace your design, you want to be able to see the bled-through ink, which you can't when there are two pieces of paper (or tape!). 

Starting to draw one of the trees over the grid. Those holes are from the handles (downside of this kind of paper), which we just backed with some more paper so we wouldn't have holes.

I drew the design starting from the bottom while my lovely roommate continued drawing out the grid. By tag-teaming that part of the procedure, I think we helped reduce some time. I would be sure to draw your design in pencil, even though it's hard to see, because you will make mistakes! I sure did...

TIP: Roll up your paper as you go, especially if your picture is large. No one will see the creases in the paper because it will all be covered with duct tape!

Two steps in one! Make sure to outline your drawing in sharpie, then cover with duct tape!

Next step: outlining the drawing in sharpie. I specify using sharpie because it bleeds through to the other side of the paper, which is the side you'll be cutting out from. You need it to bleed through so you can see, even though the black duct tape. This also will make it clear how accurate your drawing is. As soon as you feel comfortable with your drawing (and have made sure you can see the ink on the other side), cover it with the duct tape! 

TIP: Try to keep there from being too much overlap on your duct tape. The thicker it is, the heavier your art will be, and the harder to cut through it will be. 

Once your drawing is totally covered in duct tape, flip it over, and start the job of cutting it out! This is actually really fun, but be careful of those overlapping lines! We accidentally cut off one of our little branches...fortunately a nice easy fix, but it still got our hearts pounding for a second when we realized! Scissors are a big help when doing a long haul of duct taping...all that tape ripping starts to really rub your fingers raw after a while. Another tip: if your drawing has lots of little details (which I do caution against doing...little details mean lots of extra time!), purchase an Xacto knife.

All cut out! My roommate did all of the Elvish scripting...so patient!

Now comes the group effort! Invite everyone over for putting it up on the wall, especially if it's big. It took just my roommate and I to put up and secure the pillars/trees section on the wall, but it also took both of our boyfriends to help get the arches up, and then we had some family members come over to help with the Elvish script. 

TIP: For the most part, permanent double stick tape is very effective in holding the decals up, but for really large pieces, I do recommend using a few place staples to help hold it up. Poster tape also works well, but is not invisible like double-stick tape. 

Ready for the final product?!

Welcome to our apartment! Quite a statement, and it gives our geekier friends a chance to show off by saying the password :)

Also, though this is very time-intensive, I've found wall decals that are similar in size to my tree cost around $200 (or more!). Buying the supplies to make this wall arch cost about $30, including three rolls of black duct tape, the pad of paper, and an x-acto knife. 

A Nice Big Summer Update!

Wow! So much has happened in the last month and a half, I don't even really know where to start. I believe I left off at the end of last school year (mid June) talking about the opportunity to study in Switzerland, and the fact that I would be heading to a camp in Florida to meet the professor of horn at that school in Switzerland.

Playing on the Boardwalk at Daytona Beach with our horn quartet!

Amazingly, everything came together so I could go. It was a bit tight, I honestly am still paying off those plane tickets, but it was so worth it to go! I got to have a one-on-one lesson with David Johnson (professor of horn at the Conservatorio della Svizzera Italiana, and founder of the American Horn Quartet) and got to know a bunch of really awesome horn players. It also was a big boost for my playing for a couple reasons: 1) I really was not very good in comparison to everyone around me, so I spent the week kicking my own butt to get all caught up, and 2) I got to spend a week playing side by side with professional horn players, listening to some amazing tone quality. I could definitely tell a difference in my playing when I got back here, and I just in general feel much better about my playing because despite the fact that I'm behind where I should be for my age and year in college, there's a lot of hope that I'll not only catch up, but maybe even do better than expected! I definitely appreciated getting shoved into being a small fish in a big pond, rather than the big fish in a little pond. I also got to play side-by-side with a student who is going into his sophomore year at Eastman School of Music...one of the schools I'm considering for graduate school. It was definitely eye-opening to see what a difference going to a music school makes.

Evening concert at a local church. Playing a Disney medley in this picture.

 I definitely enjoyed my time there, and it was so worth it, but the story doesn't end with my flight home. First of all, said horn player from Eastman and I are still talking a lot, and have figured out an awesome trick of using the Voice Memo tool on our iPhones to send each other recordings of our playing, so that we can get almost instantaneous feedback. (Much better than dragging some unsuspecting musician into my practice room to get feedback lol) Also, David emailed me a few days after camp to inform me that he would be interested in having me study with him in Switzerland for grad school! So, unofficially, I've been accepted there! 


A few other cool things have happened recently for me as well. I've been getting a lot more hours at Starbucks since I got back, which means I can start saving up for my new horn, finally (or really, for plane tickets to fly out to grad school auditions...but you know. Same difference, right?). The weather is GORGEOUS in Seattle right now. I'm outside in the sun as I'm writing this...and I've never been happier. The vitamin D does wonders! And, also super cool, I've been invited to join a local horn quartet of recent graduates that all live in the Seattle area. First rehearsal is next Saturday, and I've never felt so...cool. Honestly. That, and they found out about me because my private teacher recommended me! There's hope I may just make it in this crazy business!


On a completely different note, my participation in the Tour de Fleece definitely didn't happen as much as I hoped. Going to muggy Florida killed any inspiration I may have had to spin because there is nothing worse than dealing with wool when your hands keep getting sweaty :P I'll keep working on my yarn though, now that I'm home.


The Olympics start soon, and therefore my next big project begins! What used to be the "Ravelympics" (google Ravelympics if you're curious) is now the "Ravellenic Games" and I'm still participating. I'm doing what's called the "modular relay"...my goal? Knit 100 hexipuffs over the course of the Olympics. Goodness. I'm hopeful though, and I am really excited to see some more big progress on my quilt :)


I'm so happy to be home, to feel driven and inspired again, and to have fallen in love with horn all over again. Life is beautiful, and I'm so glad I have so much of summer left! Just over one month down, two months to go!


~Allie

Summer!!!

It has finally arrived! That's right, after a long weekend of playing seemingly endless processionals and sappy music, I can finally say that my summer break has come. I look forward to putting my brain to rest for a little bit and just concentrating on making money and practicing.

After everything that was the craziness of finals, and how much time I took off from practicing/playing horn (translation: WAY too much...), I'm finally starting to feel super into doing it again. I enjoyed having a couple days spent baking and spinning, but I'm all ready to re-prioritize.

Not long before graduation, I got to say goodbye to one of my good friends before he went off and graduated on me. As we hugged, he gave me one last verbal kick in the pants by reminding me to work hard, and that he had faith in me and my ability. It's hard to realize that next year I'm starting this journey towards being a professional musician by myself...not that I'm totally alone, but now that I'm facing my senior year of my undergrad, I can't let myself lose steam. I got told a lot this year that this was the first time that my professors and fellow musicians really saw me buckle down and do what needed to be done, and I have to keep motivated so that I don't lose that over the summer.

My goal is to be back up to three hours a day by July. That gives me about 2 weeks, and then one week of maintaining it before I head to Florida for the horn camp where I'm meeting my (hopefully) private teacher for grad school. Not only is this goal practical (has anyone else ever been to a music camp where you aren't expected to play several hours each day?), but it reminds me that this is a really big opportunity, and I don't want to blow it. If I treat this like my grad school audition, I hope that it will help me to keep from getting complacent.

It's crazy to think about how much being a musician is both being an artist and an athlete. At least being a brass player is. I took a week off, and suddenly it feels like my abilities are back to being those of a 6th grader. You don't think about it at the time, but after taking the days off, you do feel like kicking yourself for being so dumb and not taking care of those muscles. *sigh* Someone remind me I said this the next time that school has become overwhelming and I'm deciding to take the day off of practicing for a little more homework time. So not worth it.

On a happier note, I am very proud to announce that I baked my very first pie this afternoon! I haven't taste tested it, but it smells amazing. :D

The Beginning of the End

It's getting to be that time. I have an album of pictures on facebook with the same title, all of pictures taken in my last days of high school, and yet again, I'm getting ready to think about lasts.

I've registered for fall quarter for the last time.
This will be the last time I play for Ivy Cutting and Commencement.
The orchestra concert was the last time I got to play with some of my favorite seniors.

And it's not even my senior year yet. Nope, that starts in about...24 hours (unless you say that the last class has to graduate first, and in that case, that will be in about 4 days). So many people close to me moving into the next stages of their lives. I'm so happy for them, and so very selfish about my loss. There are a very small handful of people that I won't let get away though, and have made the goal to interact with them fairly often, because they're too good of friends to let go.

Meanwhile, the weather has decided to make me forget that summer is coming. Yup, thanks Seattle, but I didn't forget where I lived. (For those of you not here right now, it's dark, grey, and pouring...and it's June.) I've had two lattes today, one to get going this morning, and one this afternoon because it was cold (and because I was meeting with a friend to get coffee...welcome to Seattle!).

We're in the final push to the end of classes. I have just a bit more writing to do, and I'm done. About three or four hours of work stand between me and being done with my junior year. When I surface again, I'll have more to say, I'm sure :)

~Allie

Self-reflection

I've been pondering...what is the purpose of my blog? There are the simple answers to that question: to give me an outlet to talk to a wider audience about my views, to update my friends and family into my life, or to share projects and ideas with others. The funny thing is, I'm not sure it matters as much to me what the purpose of my blog is as much as how much can/will/do I update it? See, there are those who have lots to say, and so they update daily (or even more often in some cases). There are people who practically never use their blogs. I lean towards that side, unfortunately, but now that I've reevaluated my schedule for this summer, I think it's time for me to step up and use it more frequently.

So, what is my schedule like for this summer? Okay, honestly, I have no real solid idea either. If I worked both of my jobs with the hours I would like, I'd be putting in about 50 hours a week. I might get a day off once in a while. I'll be exhausted, and it will take all my willpower to even think about practicing my horn when I get home in the afternoon/evening. I'll be able to afford the cost of living, plus save up to buy my new horn. Maybe even go to my horn camp in July (though there are a few bumps on the road to that one still). But after all that, I'll break even. I'll have a roof over my head, food in my stomach, a shiny new instrument to play, and practically nothing in savings. I think the new horn is worth it, though. And way better to buy it basically with cash than to take out a loan on it, or use a credit card. (Dear science friends, you know how I teased you with how your textbooks each quarter cost over $500, while I used the same book for theory for two years? I think this is where it all evens out. :P)

I'm ready for the summer to come. I had two papers due today, which the knowledge of is overwhelming in and of itself, not to mention the actual process of writing said papers. With them complete, I'm only 5 journals entries, a research proposal, and a final exam away from being done. Oh, plus Ivy Cutting and Commencement. *internally kicks self for being required to do post-finals concerts* Also, I got all of the music ready for our final two performances, with relatively few hitches. And I got a free massage! You can say it was a productive day, but it was also incredibly draining.

Tomorrow promises to be a better day. Proctoring an exam for my aural skills kids at 8:30, getting some practicing done, then work from 1:30 til about 4:30 (I keep getting done with training early...hard to get training that is only really is going through the motions of being a barista, while also staying out of the way of those actually making drinks, and trying to soak in as much information as possible so hopefully I won't crash and burn on Saturday), plus a concert (SPU orchestra!) at 7:30. Did I mention my professor lost my music? Yup, I didn't, he actually lost it for me. At least he can't be mad at me :P But that's on my to-do list too...print out new music. Thank God for pieces that are public domain.

On a more reflective note, I think I'm realizing that I've grown more cynical of not only myself, or of life, but also of those all around me. I'll make a confession right here and now (which will hopefully give background for this discussion): I've had a few drinks while at college, and I'm still not 21.
Okay, so most of you guys are probably rolling your eyes and sighing at me. Mom and Dad, sorry...but I promise I did it very responsibly! Anyway, the point is, I'm realizing that it's just not that fun and interesting for me. I think when I do turn 21, I'll go to a bar or a nice restaurant, enjoy flashing my ID and ordering a drink, but the actual drinking part isn't really fun. I'm too tiny and metabolize everything too fast for me to really have even one drink without getting tipsy, and because of that fact, the couple of times I have had drinks with friends, they seem to only be interested in the hilarity of how lightweight I am when it comes to alcohol. I'm not super amused by it any more. Plus, I don't like how I feel when I have alcohol in my system. It's like being unmedicated for my ADHD, I feel out of control, with no real understanding of how I'm acting or coming across to others.

So, my grand conclusion to that whole big paragraph? I'm over the idea of the fun of alcohol. And in a lot of ways, I'm glad I learned it before I turned 21, because then I didn't have the danger of being out and about and buying a lot of liquor. Maybe it's because I'm not a big party animal, and I've never liked huge gatherings of people, so the "fun" of drinking parties is lost on me. I don't have to try drugs to know that I want nothing to do with them, and even though I've tried alcohol, I think I'm never going to be the type to get drunk on purpose, or drink past my limit. And here soon, I will be 21, and I'll be going out with good, close friends whom I trust very much to take care of me (and not in the get-me-drunk-off-my-rear sort of way).

And now, my friends, I shall bid you adieu until the next big thought or two come into my mind...or the next random occurrence that you should all share in happens.

~Allie

A gigantic life update

That's right, it's life-update time! It's been a crazy quarter. I mean, most quarters I have seem pretty crazy, but this one has been busier than usual.

Reason #1: I'm actually taking a bunch of credits of classes.
I decided that this would be a great quarter to take two general education classes, on top of my music ones, so I'm actually hauling what most people call a normal number of credits. 17, I believe. Unfortunately, upper division gen eds have a tendency to kick your butt when it comes to homework. If I'm not in a class, practicing, or sleeping, I tend to be reading for these two classes (Modern East Asian History and Christian Theology, if you were curious). Or, at least I was until the sun came out to play again. Being in Seattle makes you appreciate the sun more, but it also makes you want to do nothing but be outside when the weather is not only sunny, but also around 75. I find this kills any motivation for doing homework faster than an ant can find a crumb in your kitchen.

Reason #2: I had my junior recital in the middle of the quarter.
May 7th, to be exact. It was amazing, and went wonderfully, and I was really happy. But it was quite the time sucker for a while. Lots of rehearsing and practicing and more practicing, plus mock performances...it ruled supreme in my life for quite a bit leading up to it. I'm happy to have it over, but I really can't wait until my senior recital next year. It's going to be awesome!

Reason #3: I started a new job.

This has been fairly recent, in fact I only started working there last week, but I'm now a barista at Starbucks! I have one picture of me with my apron and everything on, but I look super sleepy, so I'll pass on sharing it for now. None the less, it's taken away some time as well. I love it, and I definitely think it's the coolest work environment I've been in...maybe ever.

So, there you have it. That's where I've been. Racing around like a crazy person, hoping to God I remember to buy groceries so I can eat, and finishing off my third (oh gosh, yes, my third) year of college. I can't believe that this is my last graduation I'll be playing at. Well...strike that. I am RELIEVED this is the last graduation I'll play at. Trying to start my job early makes it really obvious to me that I'm stuck doing school-related things long after I would be done. But, on the other hand, I already have two summer jobs lined up, I just hope that I can juggle my schedules decently. 

This graduation is definitely hitting closer to home than the last two have. I've been closer to a lot of the people in the class of 2012 than I was with previous classes, and I'll be sad to see them go. I actually panic a little because there are people who I've considered friends at college that I may never see again, and that makes me sad. I hope to stay in contact with a few of them (more than just the occasional happy birthday on facebook), but I'm still a little unsure how to do that without being bothersome. I'll figure it out, I suppose.

The timeline my life is mostly following feels like it's always speeding up. I know everyone says that life just seems to keep rushing away from you, but suddenly I'm making plans for graduate school, and saving money like a boss (haha) to buy things like a new horn and a trip to Florida before I'm completely out on my own and paying for everything. (A side note, the trip to Florida is in fact an educational thing. It's my trial run with the guy who hopefully will be my professor in grad school, just without the cost of a plane ticket to Switzerland :D) It's also meant a lot of deep discussions with James about where we are and where we're going. 

Relationships are personal things, and I like thinking that mine is fairly private. Thank James for that, all you people who barf at signs of affection...he's the one with all the common sense for those kinds of things. (haha) But none the less, not very long ago we reached our 2 1/2 year mark, and I was kind of flabbergasted. It's not a bad thing; I'm not unhappy or anything. Mostly it's just crazy to think of how long we've been together. I also get teased occasionally about how when we finally get engaged, everyone's just going to sigh "Finally" rather than be surprised. Sorry guys, it's going to be a while yet.

 That's one hard realization about how life is going along. With him taking an extra year to graduate (though a BS in computer science is worth it), and I'm going straight on to grad school, it just doesn't seem practical to start a marriage any time soon. And it's okay. We're very young, have a lot of life yet to live, and have time to spare before making a huge decision like that. It's a good thing, in a lot of ways, because it gives time for him to live truly out on his own and check out the real world without another human being to support, and it gives me time to make sure that music is what I want to do, and explore some of the world without worrying about being completely settled. 

That doesn't make it easy. (And for those of my friends who have read this rant and for some reason have stuck with me for this long on this blog, skip to whatever next part is coming that isn't related to our relationship :D) It is hard seeing other people start dating, get engaged, get married, etc. while he and I are still dating. But just reminding myself that we're doing what we see is best for us and our lives helps to reassure me when the green monster of jealousy is running rampant. We'll see how I'm doing this time next year when ring-by-spring-itis has really kicked in. I am a little sheltered, considering James and I are the only dating couple in our group of friends, it seems. Most everyone else is single. Thank you, guys, for putting up with us!

Okay, so back to the point. I'm alive! My dad started chatting with me on facebook this morning and commented how he and Mom hadn't heard from me in a while. I'm still here, really...at least I'm trying to be. 

A couple other random facts that have popped up since I last posted...I learned how to crochet. Really, I learned how to do a double chain, but it's perfect for what I need. I've been knitting this awesome blanket called the Beekeeper's Quilt for a long while (since last July) and finally decided to give myself that extra push to get really working on it again, I would start joining it together. 

So, each of the hexagons I've been knitting individually out of different yarns for a while. I embroidered on some of them (I spy with my little eye...a mushroom, a piano, a sheep, a bluebird and a swan!) and decided to make them the center of the "flowers" with coordinating other hexis as the "petals." Then in between the hexis is where the crocheting comes in...double chaining for days!!! It makes for a more flexible blanket than I would have gotten (I've been whip stitching the hexis together for maximum strength) before, and it makes up for the fact that they just aren't all the same exact size. I really like the effect the black yarn makes too. It sort of looks stained-glass-like and makes each individual flower stand out. Unfortunately, after joining about 100, I realized that my variety in what hexis were left was very limited. So...back to the knitting I go! ~180 hexis down, and I have no idea how many left to go. On the up side, people have given me tons of compliments on the one big joined section of the blanket thus far. 

So there you have it, that's a look into my life for the last few months. Hopefully once school gets out I'll have lots more adventures to share with everyone, probably full of fascinating interactions with customers. 

~Allie

A Day of Reflection

I had a pretty lazy Saturday today. I feel that usually if I went for half the day on a Saturday without practicing, my stomach would be in knots with stress. Today I decided that what I needed most was a day without stress, thus giving myself permission to not practice for the day, and just enjoy doing whatever, even if that meant doing nothing whatsoever.

I got out of my bed (excepting getting my muffin and glass of milk for breakfast and bringing them back to bed) at noon...I woke up sometime around 7 initially, but then went back to sleep until 10. In the couple hours I spent lying in bed, I explored Pottermore (finally...I was one of the original beta testers, but never got around to actually messing around on the site), chilled on Ravelry, Pinterest and Facebook, and just enjoyed being cozy and comfortable and totally relaxed.

About Pottermore. It's still in beta right now, and hopefully they're opening it up to the public next month, but until then, you only have access to the stuff related to the first book in the series. However, they added so much background information from J.K. Rowling that you wouldn't have ever known from just the books (or even the movies). There was a pretty extensive biography of Professor McGonagall...did you know that she and Professor Flitwick were (I think) in the same year at Hogwarts, and were both Hatstalls? (translation: the Sorting Hat was torn for a very long time over what house to sort them into) The fascinating thing is that the hat was torn between Griffindor and Ravenclaw for both of them. I love this series!

Anyway, I think if you want some fun stuff to do while rereading the series, or even just want a little more information about characters in Harry Potter, or how she came up with/wrote the whole series, you should check it out. //advertisement end ;)

Not that I'm going to go on about it, but I also spent a couple hours watching The Chronicles of Narnia (both the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe and Prince Caspian) while knitting hexipuffs.

Then came time for a cool benefit dinner for YMI (Youth Missions International) for my friend John. I got really inspired by all of the discussions about their missions and how to support them financially...which yes, I did sign up to donate some for them, because I really do value missions. But this goes beyond just the good food and the nice people...I follow John's wife, Rose, on her personal blog about her life, ministry, making a home with John (they're newlyweds) and just fun stuff like that. One of her recent blogs discussed some of the good/bad/ugly advice she's been given about her marriage, and the good piece of advice hit me very deeply.

Focus on serving God first, and the rest will follow.

It's something I'm not very good at in my relationship with James. I often tend to try to live my life totally around what he's doing, and how our relationship is going, rather than striving to serve God first, and letting Him take care of us. Unfortunately, I'm not totally sure how to serve God. I get stuck on the thoughts about how I should just drop everything and move to a foreign country and do missions work...or how I need to be super active in my church life, while doing something like helping host a Bible study. I hate making the excuse, but I really do feel like I don't have time. This is where being a music major is tough...when you add in evening ensembles to the mix, it often feels like service-for-God time is really limited. I guess it breaks down to: what is serving God?

I know that getting closer to God will help my relationship with James...and maybe it's not great that it took wanting a better relationship with James to desire a relationship with God to in turn benefit my relationship with James. (I'll pause here while you guys all try to sort that out :P) But, in the end, isn't all that matters is that I want to pursue a relationship with God. Period. ?

*Huff* This being Christian thing is hard. I should know that already, seeing as I've spent a large portion of my life as one. Then again, it's easier to have a faith when it's just an adjective about you rather than an adverb about the way you live your life. I think I'm still in adjective state right now. (Also, all English and grammar nuts out there, I know you don't technically live "Christianally" but it was about the idea, not the technicality :D )

So, here we go...on a journey to improving my spiritual status with God...with hardly any clue how to do it. Crossing my fingers I can figure this all out!

Oh, yeah, my horn playing is going fine. I have my recital jury right after I get back from spring break, and also two days after I do a mock audition at the Northwest Horn Symposium.

Also, I get to go to Las Vegas for spring break with James!!!!! Before you jump on any weird hypocrisy you think there might be about how I'm trying to be all "Christian" and now I'm going on a spring break trip to the gambling capitol of the United States with my boyfriend...we're staying with his family, we're not doing any gambling or drinking (since we're both underage), and really, I think we're mostly going because we get to go see Cirque du Soleil :D Just wanted to clarify ;)

I'm really excited, and officially he has the coolest family ever, since they told us that this is our vacation, and we can have them around as much or as little as we want. So awesome! I think we're still going to be around them a fair amount anyway...they're cool people :)

'Til next time!

~Allie