The little things that count

Sometimes, it ends up being all about the little happy things in your day that make it a good day. When you have the schedule I do for the next couple weeks, those little things begin to be what you cling to.

I warned one of my managers this week as soon as I got my second job's schedule that I might get a little crazy next week, after I'll have been working for well over a week straight. In fact, technically as far as I have scheduled, I'm working for two weeks straight without a single true day off. Chris reminded me that now my half days are going to have to become my mental days off, considering most of the time I have most of the day to myself, while popping into work for 3-5 hours at some point in the day.

With that set up placed, I've already started getting tired, and we're only on day three. Part of that is my own fault for staying up later than I should have last night (because who isn't pumped up after playing Shostakovitch and Berlioz?), and part of it was due to a not-great night of sleep.

I made the executive decision today that I would need to grab a coffee at the Starbucks just down the hallway from work, and since I forgot to buy breakfast groceries yesterday, needed to grab breakfast too. When I got to the counter, both baristas looked at my face and asked if I wanted a double shot in my mocha rather than just the single. Because I'm on the broke side, I knew I really couldn't afford the extra shot, and I probably wouldn't need it anyway. Well, apparently the barista making my drink "accidentally" pushed the double shot button rather than the single. I didn't argue, but I did smile about her thoughtfulness (whether on purpose, or not).

When I did get into the office, I found out that I was the morning person on the window, which isn't really my favorite, but it generally is a quiet place to be. (Seeing as I'm currently updating my blog after doing all of my side tasks...) My first customer of the morning was an elderly man and his wife who had waited for months to hear about the In the Mood performance in March, and upon hearing that sales started at 10 am this morning, decided to wait right at my window to make sure he could get exactly the seat he always sits in. Most of the time those types of people can be really hard to deal with, but he and his wife were very patient (I think they could see the coffee beside my computer and the dark circles under my eyes), had a great sense of humor, and in general were a good way to start my day.

Of course, like any day, it's had its ups and downs. I've now spent three hours on this blog, which means different events keep happening. I did just have the opportunity to have a several minute conversation with the new Associate Conductor of SSO, who is a mere 7 years older than I am. I asked him how he did it, after prefacing my question by stating that I was going to be candid. He started his sentence with, "Well, when I went to Julliard..." I think there's no choice where I should go to graduate school if I want to get somewhere...or something. That will be something to ponder. For someone who is already so successful in their career though, he's super friendly and down to earth.

I also can't be too unhappy about this day because I may have just gotten contacted for a gig. It means fudging my work schedule (again) and now stretching a long weekend of performances into two weeks of performances, but how can you complain? Here's to hoping this all works out...though if the mood swings of all of today's revelations continue, I think I might go batty.

I didn't really intend this post to become an ongoing status update of sorts when I started it. I really only wanted to post a little tidbit of happiness, and then interesting things kept happening. The whole point being that as long as I keep focusing on the positive, I will be able to keep optimistic, even when life is getting a bit crazy.

To my friends currently in school...

I wanted you to know I commend you. I'm proud of you. And I'm a little bit jealous, too.

It's easy to settle into the post-college mindset of working full-time, and pondering how hard your life is. Gosh, weren't those the days when all you had to do was get up, look presentable, and head to a large room to listen to someone talk at you at length about something they are an expert of?

The reality, I'm realizing, is that while working full-time is difficult, so was school. And while in comparison to what I'm doing now, school seemed simple, I also remember how much I wished to just go join the "real world" and be working rather than just doing homework. The type of difficulty is different.

I recently got reminded that working full-time isn't superior to going to school full-time. And with that reminder came the acknowledgment that I had recently become downright condescending of people who were students. I was wrong. To be blunt, you guys are working your asses off, and with little tangible reward. I, at least, work lots of hours and end up with some type of paycheck. And when I get done with work, I don't have to go home and do more of it.

I miss the flexibility I had in college the most. My professors were amazingly understanding when I would inform them that I might miss a lecture because of the opportunity to play a gig that coincided. Jobs aren't nearly as understanding.

I have more time to have hobbies. I have less time to build up my embouchure and work on my actual music career. My life revolves around the paychecks coming in, and the checks I'm writing to pay that money away. It's a little depressing, and a little freeing, because it leaves decisions up to me. I'm learning lessons that I wish I had learned in college about the consequences of not paying attention to my money, and realizing that having fun now when I can't afford it, leads to even less fun further down the road. I hated hearing that from others, but now it's my turn to state it.

Growing up is hard. Life is hard. But my goal is to learn from it, and keep moving forward!

P.S. If anyone was interested in seeing me play, I've got a whole herd of performances coming up in November! Wagner, Shostakovitch, Ewazen, and more!