My dear, wonderful friends. I adore you all. You are all awesome, amazing people, and I hope that none of you have ever done anything I'm about to discuss. But, after nearly five years, and a whole LOT of different jobs in the retail/service industry, we need to have a talk about how to treat those who are serving you.
Before I get into this, I want to remind you of the biggest thing: those people at the cash registers, folding clothes around the stores in the mall, helping you find the cream of tartar in the grocery store, and waiting your tables are PEOPLE. Wonderful, (mostly) hard-working people who are trying to earn money, and do their job well, and often with less than ideal hours.
Issue #1: Please and Thank You
Remember a long, long time ago, when your parents told you that they wouldn't pass you dessert at the table until you said please? And then when they served you, you had to say thank you? This is still totally in effect, even if you're in your 20s and 30s. That waiter who you just stopped to refill your water glass may actually be racing to get an order in for another table so they won't have to wait for an extra 5 minutes for their food. Smile, and say thank you when they bring stuff to you!
Issue #2: Patience
You walk into your favorite coffee shop, and see that the line is to the door. All of the staff is busting their rear ends to get everything done, which doesn't include just making coffee. They're ringing orders, cleaning the seating area, brewing coffee, dumping overflowing garbage cans, retrieving basic items like milk or syrups. People are racing through their orders at the cash register as though the poor person ringing should remember that they want three half-decaf, soy, no-foam, 16 ounce lattes, but make one with an extra shot, one with a pump of vanilla, and one only 165 degrees, EXACTLY.
Sometimes, things slip up. I'm never more appreciative than when customers see that things are crazy, and something slipped, and their drink ended up with whipped cream when they asked for none, and they're actually okay with it! Did you know that if you actually are nice to your barista/waiter/busser/etc. they'll most likely remember you, and therefore work even harder to be nice to you the next time? And if you're nasty, they'll never forget. And you'll probably go down on some list of people that the employee will cringe when they walk in.
Issue #3: Technology
As an owner of an iPhone, I understand the allure of smartphones. So much information at your fingertips! But when you're having a human interaction (ordering food, purchasing clothes, etc.), that little piece of technology needs to go away. Not maybe, not sometimes, but every time. Ordering food for a friend? Have them write down their order for you, and maybe some options in case they don't have what they want. Please don't stand there on the phone with them, discussing every option while you're at the head of the line making others wait and your server trying their hardest not to roll their eyes at you.
Issue #4: Large Parties
You know how a lot of restaurants automatically charge gratuities for parties of 8 or more? There is good reason. Working with a large party of people who all want exactly what they want, which probably won't at all coincide with what everyone else in the group wants, and can you split the check 5 ways, and do you mind if we pull up another table, and we need extra silverware...tip nicely, guys. Which leads me to:
Issue #5: Tipping
Did you know, in many states, servers are paid under minimum wage because their tips make up much of what they earn? Similarly, most servers and people who work in restaurants live more off of the tips they make than they do on their hourly wage. Also, in case you didn't realize, a base minimum tip should be 10% (based off of the amount your dinner cost after tax). Minimum. And that's only if they did a completely wretched job serving you. 10% tells your server that you have decency, but that they need to step up their work. 15% is good if they've done an okay job, but something may have been wrong, or service was slow. 20% should be what you aim to give. They're doing their very best, even in often less than ideal circumstances. Keep this in mind: much of the time, servers don't get to keep all of their tips. Tips can go into a pool with everyone else's tips, and you get the average based on how many hours you worked, or each server gets their own tips, but has to give a certain percentage of those away to their bussers and the kitchen staff. So if you tip 20%, the server may only get 10-15% of those tips.
And finally, I have a special note to those who stuck with me through this blog. Most of you know that I'm a Christian, and a young adult. I want to share with you something important: the two worst types of people for tipping fairly and treating people with respect and dignity are: Christians and young adults. And guys, this is a huge problem.
Think of it this way: You get done with church in the morning, and you and your friends decide to pop into a cafe to get some coffee and maybe a pastry. You're discussing the sermon when the server comes up (or when it's your turn to order), and you spend a while trying to figure out what to order, but instead of asking them to come back, they stand waiting patiently as each of you figure out what you want. (Doesn't seem like a big deal, right?) They bring back your food and coffee, but accidentally switch a plate or two. You sigh, roll your eyes, and switch them back in front of them, continuing your discussion which has now moved to what kind of worship music would have been appropriate for the service today. You forgot to say thank you, or even smile at your server. When they bring your check, you and your friends have to have it split up, so everyone is paying for their own meal. Only one person has cash, and some people have some coins, so altogether, you've left a $3 tip, mostly in change.
That server has been watching you, and listening. When I notice a customer is a Christian, I pay attention to how they act, and how they treat me. And you know that old proverb, "Actions speak louder than words?" It's completely true.
It's terrible to me that I cringe when I have to work Sunday mornings when we have what's called the "church rush." It makes me sad that people don't realize that their treatment of other people will have a huge impact on whether or not their server will ever want to step foot in their church. And by the way, just because I work Sunday mornings does not make me a heathen. I do it because I make money that way, and it fits my schedule.
So please, please be nice this holiday season. People are working overtime, and they're as tired of dealing with customers as the customers are of shopping. Tip your baristas and servers, and when they ask how you're doing, maybe try genuinely asking how they're doing too! (And smile!)
Allison
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