Still alive!

...and so incredibly busy. I'm still not working as many hours as I want to, but after pulling 49 hours of work last week, and hoping to put in another 56 or so this week, I'm feeling content that I'm getting somewhere. Now if I could just get a few hours where I'm not exhausted to go practice, that would be awesome.

Amazingly, I've officially pulled off a full week without a day off, and am also working this week without any days off. It's kind of thrilling working this hard, though I can't wait to start getting paychecks that back it up.

I'm communicating with most people via text and facebook these days as well, considering there's no telling when I'll actually be available to hang out. All the packing I was doing has come to a standstill for a few days, but I think I'll have time on Wednesday to get some serious work done. I'm pretty sure I may start sleeping with my planner in my arms soon, just so if I wake up from some nightmare about not knowing my schedule, I can reassure myself that I do have everything planned out two weeks in advance.

Well, except for my birthday. It's coming in two and a half weeks, and I have no idea what I want to do, if anything at all. The problem with having a summer birthday: there's no time to stop and celebrate! (Especially if you also include other people in your plans.)

I wish I had interesting anecdotes in this blog, but I think we'll just have to sum it up as "Allie's busy...really, really busy."

Let's make grad school a reality, one insane workweek at a time!

~Allison

Ivy Cutting, Graduation, and a World Cup Qualifier

I realized yesterday that I spend a lot of time on my blog being very philosophical about life, and not actually sharing much news. As grad school is speeding closer every day, I need to start getting used to letting you all know what's actually going on in my life, rather than just my head. Plus, some really fun things happened in the last week that I'd love to share (with pictures!) with family and friends, so they can feel like they're a part of my life.

I apologize ahead of time for the length of this post...it probably should be two or three, but I promise to keep it entertaining!

Ivy Cutting
SPU has a tradition dating back to the 1920s where, on the Friday before Commencement, the graduates gather in caps and gowns around Tiffany Loop, where a short service with hymns and a speaker goes on. At the end, the graduates lift up a long strand of ivy (several long ones tied together, actually) that has been removed from Peterson Hall, and several members of the faculty cut off 6-8 inch sections for each graduate. It's supposed to symbolize all of the seniors moving forward from SPU and sort of cutting ties with the university, though we were informed that it would always be home should we want it to be.

The cutting of the ivy. I had the honor of having Professor Marsh cut my piece (that's my hand).

Of course, it's not fun to have all your ceremonies be solemn, and my group of friends did a fantastic job lightening the atmosphere...perhaps a little too much. But really, when your speaker bases their entire speech on Game of Thrones, and includes tribbles, if you're a geek like all of us, you're going to get excited. We also may have been a bit silly with the ivy...

After the actual Ivy Cutting ceremony were a bunch of different receptions for some of the majors. There was one in Crawford for all the music majors. It was interesting to see who all was graduating together, since only half of those there had been in my original theory class freshman year. A lot of great words of advice were given by professors, and just as many hugs.

Most of the music department taking a group picture. So many people who have touched my life!

We also had some fun, taking a group picture of the three horn players who have been together for four years, and have been quite the power section of the band and orchestra. 

And then Eric and I had one more childish moment. He's definitely become more of my brother than just a friend or colleague. 

The bush never stood a chance! 

That evening, I got to hang out with a couple good friends, making s'mores and drinking some really awesome wine out of plastic sippy cups (without the sippy lid, mind you). It was a relaxing way to key down after a big day, and with even more events to come.

Sara and Jordon's Grad Party

On Saturday, a whole group of us drove up to Snohomish to Jordon and Sara's house to celebrate graduation, and yet again enjoy each others' company for probably the last time for a long while. There was good food and drinks, fun conversation, lots of ping pong and pool, and a relaxing soak in the hot tub. Oh, and a lot of pictures taken of me either eating or gesticulating with my food while talking. Lovely.

Commencement

I was happy to get to walk and sit with my whole group of friends at Commencement, both music majors and all of my science major friends. We were missing two, since they were in different schools within the university, but the majority of us were all in the same row. What used to be a ceremony that in previous years had dragged on endlessly ended up racing past, probably because I actually knew a lot of the 700 undergraduates. I didn't do anything stupid, like trip, when I crossed the stage to receive my "diploma" (just the thing to hold it, actually. They'll send it to me after they check all my grades.), but despite my pronunciation guide, my name was pronounced "koo-kuh-kuh-Kunze!" sigh Ah well, you can't have everything perfect! 

During the ceremony, Eric and I had ended up sitting together (really, it's a bad idea to have us together...we do silly things when bouncing off of each others' impulsive natures), and plotted to go play the recessional. Now, we had been celebrating not playing at graduation for weeks (if not months), but as Eric put it later, band sometimes creates a sort of Stockholm syndrome. So, after the benediction, as the undergraduates were seated and the faculty began to recess, Eric, Victoria, and I jumped up, and booked it over to the band. We jumped right into the horn section, informed our three other horn players that they needed to hand over their horns and move over, and began to play the recessional. Professor Marsh apparently didn't see us slip into the section, which meant he glanced up from his score to see three robed graduates with horns in their hands. We were pretty tickled pink (which is sort of funny, considering the color of our tassels as music majors was baby pink). 

Even though my parents couldn't come to graduation (which was okay with me, considering they came over for my senior recital--the more important event for me), I had a good time with my friends after the ceremony, and many good pictures were taken. I cried a little while saying goodbye to one friend who I won't see for a long while, but otherwise it was a joyful affair. I'm going to miss all of them a lot, but I have high hopes that technology will help us keep in touch.

USMNT vs. Panama 

A disclaimer: I didn't attend this match as a spectator, but instead was working in one of the booths on the first level. Therefore, this will be less about the game itself, and much more about the people, and the general experience as an "outsider" to the event.

Yesterday was my first day working my second job down at Century Link Field. My booth was located right by one of the main entrances, so I had a front row seat to people-watching. The atmosphere was fantastic, even without going into the actual stadium. So many people went all out wearing the American flag, including star-spangled tights, American flag capes, and some really awesome hats. Commemorative scarves were given out to all the fans, and since there were plenty left over, I got one too (and grabbed one for another friend who couldn't go, but was watching at home). 

One of my favorite parts of soccer: tifo! This was the display for last night's game in honor of it being the centennial year of U.S. Soccer

As a Sounders fan, I've had a decent amount of experience as a fan, but I had never seen what fans look like from the other side. Of course there are drunk people. I remember one specific man who walked around in the second half collecting scarves, unwrapping them from the packaging, and putting them around his neck. By the time he walked past my booth, he had about 15 of them around his neck, and several more in his arms still packaged. 

I was a little sad that I couldn't watch the game, but I could have told you much of what was going on just based on the amazing volume of the crowd. Two goals were scored, and the second by Eddie Johnson (who plays for the Seattle Sounders) was deafening from outside the stadium. Some fantastic cheers went on during the game, and when I went back today to watch the match replay, you can hear them loudly and clearly during the broadcast. I'm incredibly proud of the Seattle fans who all came out for the match. They did a great job representing the PNW and the U.S. 

I got off of work right as the match ended, so I ended up leaving the stadium at the same time as the crowd. One major difference I've found between soccer and football in Seattle comes from how the crowd exits. When I go to Seahawk games, the spectators rarely stay through to the very last minute of the game. About half will stick around, but a lot will start filing out as soon as the game is a "sure thing" (either we're destroying the away team, or we're being crushed). This is basically unheard of at a soccer game, which brings the phrase "give us your full 90". The point of this being, I walked out at the same time as over 40,000 hyped up soccer fans. 

We pretty much swarmed into downtown Seattle, as many people take the bus rather than trying to pay for parking. I got to walk with a couple friends who had been at the match, and we walked all the way up to Pike Street to catch the bus. I've rarely seen the Seattle Metro so packed as it was last night. It took about 8 minutes just to get everyone on to my bus back to Ballard. 

Another of my favorite aspects to the soccer atmosphere is how it brings people together. I wore my new scarf home on the bus, and ended up having several good conversations with other people who had been at the game, as well as those who hadn't gone. I even witnessed a guy get a girl's number because they had found a mutual love of soccer and travel during the 20 minute ride from downtown to Ballard. (I was terribly impressed by this, even in my exhausted state.) I love how just a game can bring huge groups of people together, and makes this city become the friendliest place on earth, if only for one night. 

It was exhausting working until 9 pm, and not getting home until 10:30, then turning around to open at 5 this morning, but I think it was worth it. I expect lots of experiences similar to this, however it will be interesting to compare this match to any of the Sounders matches I'll be working at in the future. Nonetheless, it's time to go get ready for work (again). Until later!

Allison

The first day of being a college graduate

It's been a strangely normal morning. I went to work, I got off of work, and now I'm back in my apartment. I have a list of things to do as long as my arm.

But it's not the same.

I gave a final hug to one friend who I won't get to see until she's able to come visit me in Switzerland (or until next summer when I come home to work. Whichever comes first). I got off of work when I normally would have been in my psych class. I realized that the likelihood of my friends coming in to see me at work has suddenly diminished a ton. I have boxes to pack, and a heavy heart realizing that this is the closing of a major chapter in my life.

It's not all sad. I am really excited that I get to put everything in place to allow me to go to a foreign country for grad school. I don't have to deal with the sudden loss of school, because I know that I get to go back, and several weeks earlier than I previously have. I have two jobs, and both are giving me a decent chunk of the hours I need to make the money I'll need. I have family taking time to tell me they love me and that they're proud of me.

Perhaps it will be less strange as the day goes on. I certainly hope that I stop feeling like I might just cry because I don't know how to react to all of these emotions washing over me.

I'm feeling tons of emotions, but most of all, I miss you, friends!

The Road goes ever on and on

Down from the door where it began.

Now far ahead the Road has gone,

And I must follow, if I can,

Pursuing it with eager feet,

Until it joins some larger way

Where many paths and errands meet.

And whither then? I cannot say.

Graduation and Reflection

It's time. After four years full of life lessons, tears, love, and growing up, I'm standing at the doorway into the rest of my life. I've always joked that I get an extension on childhood because I'm going to go back to college in just a few months, but in the last month I've realized this isn't true. My introduction to adulthood could be worse, however; it could be a cliff. I could be jumping out into the complete unknown, with no comprehension of what is to come. Instead, however, I imagine it being more like when you're driving through a mountainous area, and the road makes a large turn around one of the peaks, and you can't see what's to come, but you hope that it's more beautiful scenery and winding roads.

I'm lucky to have been working several jobs this year, and getting used to juggling all the pieces of my life. I've been paying bills, learning how to be more frugal, and preparing myself for what is coming. I didn't imagine that it would be quite as intense as this summer will prove to be, but I have hope that everything will work out for the best.

It's amazing to look back over the last four years, especially in reflection of how much I've grown and changed during this period of my life. People joke about not wanting to be friends with themselves if they ever had to meet them, but reading back over blogs from my freshman and sophomore years, I found myself with an overwhelming urge to smack my past self. Goodness. Some things have improved: I'm more introspective, and a better listener. My musicianship has improved exponentially, and I have confidence in myself as a person and as a musician. Some things still need a lot of work: I still am too anxious, and can get pretty obnoxious by misinterpreting social cues. I talk too much, and get lonely too often.

The most amazing thing I've begun to realize this year is the sheer number of people I've had the honor of meeting. By TAing the first-year aural skills class for three years, taking part in as many ensembles as I can, and working several jobs both on and off of campus, I've met more people than I could count off the top of my head. I've had the honor of watching some of the kids I TAed my sophomore year go on to become amazing musicians that inspire me to work harder and reach further in my own playing. I've learned that complete strangers who you meet because they come to your store to buy coffee can become your best supporters and cheerleaders. I've developed relationships with professors that are deeper than the grade they give me, or the lessons they've taught me.

SPU has been an amazing place to grow up. It hasn't always been easy, nor has it been the perfect place to be. Sometimes bureaucracy distracted from learning; drama from relationships; stress from life. But looking back over these last few years, I am glad to say that I was inspired and pushed to become a much better person in more areas than simply academics.

I look forward to moving on. You can't stay an undergraduate student forever, and just like how I felt after graduating high school, I don't think you should want to. Loving school, loving the accessibility of friends, and the adventures college brings are all great, but would become empty after a while. I'll keep moving forward, and relish the fact that this chapter of my life has occurred and been so great, while proudly moving into the next. Perhaps it's the influence of Return of the King playing on the tv in the background, but I do feel a little like Frodo at the end of the book, leaving his friends and family to the Undying Lands in the West, not because he doesn't like the Shire, but because he just doesn't fit there any more. I'll miss those I met at SPU, but my place in this world means moving on now.

So here I am, taking the first steps into the rest of my life. Working over 40 hours this coming week, and beginning the project of sorting, packing, and getting rid of my stuff. I'm scared of what's to come, but I'm also excited.

To everyone who has been there with me during this time, thank you for all you have done to inspire, push, encourage, and love me. Everyone of you has had a special place in my life, and the number of memories I have gained is overwhelming and wonderful. It's been an amazing four years, including all the ups and downs, and I will always be thankful of all the opportunities and experiences I have had, and the people I've met.

~Allison

For all of us who are seniors and graduating in a week...

I had a very long walk today, where I thought about lots and lots of things, and listened to my ipod nearly the whole time. It had been a long time since I listened to Hawk Nelson, but one set of lyrics really really stood out to me.

These are the things we go through
Let's take control and be ourselves
Let's not waste time wondering about
How we're gonna make it out

What if we're doing ourselves a disservice by being so anxious about everything to come? Yes, let's plan and prepare and do stuff to set ourselves up for success, but how many hours have we sat in conversation talking about how much we were freaking out?

It's finals week, and I don't want to lessen the importance of these tests. Clearly we can't fail out of college with a week until we walk across that stage. But I won't get to see some of you after we graduate. The last sight of you I'll have is in our caps and gowns, and then we'll go on with lives and be limited to facebook stalking to hear from each other again.

So, here's my goal this week: to have meaningful interactions with all of you. I've wasted so much of this year ignoring people, or not really keying in to what's going on around me because I've been self-absorbed in my own stress and life. And, let me admit, I've been kind of a jerk when at my most stressed. I don't want stress to overshadow all of my last memories at SPU. Let's enjoy these last few days, and take advantage of every chance to spend time together.

~Allison

Counting down the days

I haven't blogged in seemingly forever. Not because I haven't been motivated, but more because every time I sit down to write, I can't justify the half an hour of "wasted" time. It probably wasn't healthy. I like blogging because I can write down all my feelings and fears and whatever is on my mind, and then poof! it's gone. 

It's a relaxing Sunday morning. I didn't really want to be up this early (edit to state that I started this blog at 7 this morning), but I think my roommate was running late for church, so she accidentally slammed a door. No sleeping now! I'm going to have to learn to sleep with earplugs when I move to Switzerland. 

I spent an extensive amount of time talking to both my current horn professor, and my future professor, about how I'm going to get by while in this foreign country. (Also, I just thought you should know how epic I feel writing this blog with Mahler's first symphony blaring from my speakers. I am such a horn player!) While I'm there, I basically will be unable to work, excepting the infrequent gig, so I realized that I have to make all my money for the year before going. Talk about stressful! And in case you were curious, it's illegal in the U.S. to sell your kidney, though they're apparently worth $300,000. Anyway, the horn professor offered me the option to live in the apartment behind his house, which if I split with another of his students, comes to only about $450 a month, plus $45 for utilities. (Strangely, that's almost exactly what I pay here in the States) He also threw out the option that if we got a third tenant in there, the rent would drop to $300 a month. I can't really imagine living with two other people, especially since initially we'll be complete strangers, and we may have a language barrier for a bit, considering this is an international school. 

Back to the subject of how I'm going to pay for this: It's definitely going to take two jobs this summer. And selling everything I don't need. It looks like we found a buyer for my old horn, to help pay for most of the remaining cost of my new horn. I have an interview tomorrow afternoon for a potential second job. I also have started picking up shifts at other stores than my own. 

I can't even explain how stressful this has been. Considering all of this planning really had to be postponed until after my recital (especially since all of the "you owe this" knowledge came on the day of my dress rehearsal, and I ended up crying through part of one of my pieces before I was able to pull it together. I just couldn't be thinking about it until post-recital), and the fact that I've been rather under the weather with a bad cold for the last almost two weeks, with all kinds of school things to do. My skin kind of just exploded the last couple of weeks, but I managed to stay away from destroying most of my fingernails. 

The other hard part of all of this is that social stigma that "You're graduating! Life must be so good right now, since you're basically done!" No, not really. Not that life isn't good, but it definitely isn't easy. I want to make this work, and as much as I possibly can, I want to do it by myself. Somehow I'm hoping that getting myself through grad school by myself might prove to everyone that I'm ready to be an actual adult, and I'm not the thirteen-year-old that I often feel like others see me as. 

At least I'm not scared by the actual act of graduating. I'm really sad that this means separating from my closest friends as we all head in our own directions, but I'm hoping at least a handful of my friends will be in contact, since I definitely will be missing them a lot. I can't wait to go to the next step in life, but there are definitely a few faces I'll miss while I'm gone. (Hear that guys? I'll miss you!)

~Allison