Memories

It's amazing to me how soon the most exciting events begin to fade into hazy memories. How soon you can't remember if the time you played wii golf and tried to keep the gigantic golden retriever from attacking the wii-mote was on your 19th or 20th birthday. How very quickly you begin to wonder what memories you share with your friends and family that are really special.

Okay, a brief interlude here to get everyone out there on the same page as I am. It's rainy in Seattle...not drizzle-y like usual, but actually rainy. I've been working like crazy, and have spent a lot of days by myself, doing some interesting self-reflection. I sometimes wonder if I'm a bit crazy, but I actually enjoy these thoughts, even if sometimes they cause a bit of a twinge in my chest. Nonetheless, they aren't always happy thoughts, and if I'm not careful, they have been known to slowly spiral downwards and make me depressed. Rather than let the thought of memories and their significance spiral, I decided it would be a nice change to share some of this reflection with my closest friends and family (I consider you to be if you're reading this because you are taking your time to share something with me...and I'm incredibly honored by that).

So, back to that thought about memories...sometimes I wonder if I should have spent more time doing things that are memorable, or perhaps the real question is this: What have I done to maintain friendships with those people who have been there for some of the biggest moments in my life?

As I've gotten older, I've begun to really cherish the friends I have. The main group of friends that I've made since I've come to college create a group of people that I hope to always keep in contact with. As I come closer to graduation, however, I've begun to worry that I'll repeat my actions of the past, and just shut myself off from those wonderful people with the excuse of moving forward in my life.

I'm jealous of those people around me who go home and hang out with their old high school friends. Reminiscing about the past, talking excitedly about what their future holds, and just generally sharing in an ongoing friendship. I'll be the first to admit that I didn't really try to maintain friendships, and have hardly gone home since I left for college over four years ago. But when I see my friends posting pictures of fun parties, or sharing memories from awesome trips they took, that twinge in my chest occurs, and I wonder if I'm missing out. If I've incidentally messed something up because I don't have things like that to share with my friends. Does facebook count as maintaining friendships? Because part of me definitely feels like it's a hollow excuse for being connected to others.

This may be one of the rare occasions I ask for comments from you guys. Do you have any fantastic memories that stand out between you and I? Or you know, a moment where I opened my mouth and said something stupid and we laughed about it forever(I KNOW you guys all have memories like this).

Merry almost Christmas, guys. I hope you're having a fantastic holiday season, and enjoying the time to spend with friends and family!

~Allison