To be a Christian...

It amazes me how sometimes being away from school only makes it more apparent the issues I have when I'm at school because I've realized what the normal world is like. Yup, that was a really vague sentence. I'll clarify. I go to school at a private Christian liberal arts university. Most of the population at our school are nice Christian kids. Because of the nature of this school, there are a few strange things that have popped up and stuck around, most notably, Ring-by-Spring, and the SPU Bubble.

Ring-by-Spring is always a heavily argued topic because people swear that it's not really there any more, and that our generation has moved beyond it. (For those who don't know, Ring-by-Spring references a Christian college culture where you should find your life partner and be engaged to them by the time you get to the spring of your senior year) The hilarious thing to me about this mentality is that every holiday season, and every spring, people left and right start getting engaged. *shrug* Perhaps it's just a strange reality.

Now the SPU Bubble, that's a harder one for me to just shrug off. What this refers to is the sheltered community that is set up at SPU, where all things are lovely and beautiful, full of God, and without dissent. Most everyone seems to be conservative Republicans, and evangelical Christians, ready to share the gospel with everyone around them. (Please note that I said seems, not is) I've now been here for four years, and I'm about ready to kick the next person who posts a Bible verse as a status, or talk constantly about all the work God is doing in their lives.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not stupid enough to run around telling people that their faith isn't important, or that it's all BS. I don't think that any faith crisis that I'm having should keep other people from their own faith, and I also understand that we have a freedom to openly talk about our faith. What kills me in these situations is how often the people who post things like that are in fact the ones being total jerks to people around them. If you're posting about how God is teaching you how to put Him front and center, that's awesome. But don't turn around and be a jerk to someone who just read that status. Because, let's just be frank, that's the very hypocritical behavior that non-Christians judge Christians for.

I hate saying it, too, because people assume that Christians should have it all figured out, and be perfect like they say they are. I know that it's not true. But I wonder...the best Christians I've seen in my life are the ones who are openly imperfect. They may cuss, or drink, or just openly state that they have no effing idea where they're going in life, but that they're trying to figure out their relationship with God as they go. People in my life who are like this, thank you. Out of all the types of people I've met at SPU, these people are the ones who have helped me maintain any semblance of faith. The ones who are constantly gushing about God are the ones I'm actually more likely to raise an eyebrow at, and get much more miffed if they turn around and bite my head off when they're stressed (which, strangely enough, has happened a lot over the last few years. What's up with that?).

I also worry very much about the kids I know who are in the SPU Bubble, because I wonder what is going to happen to them after they graduate. The first time they get in an argument with someone, and that someone isn't just going to say, "Oh honey, God wants me to forgive you, so I will!" Or the first time they bite someone else's head off, and the other person isn't thinking to themselves, "You know, I'm sure they're having a hard week with school, so I'll just let it pass that they just hurt me, and go pray for them instead." Nope, in the real world, people get pissed about behavior like that. I hope things go well for the kids that don't leave the Bubble until graduation, but I'm rather glad that I'm hanging out off to the side of the Bubble instead.

I want to be a good Christian, but sometimes, I think it's easier to try to just be a Christian, and not worry about being that crazy conservative Christian, Republican, soft-spoken, cookie-baking, Sunday school teaching, super-mom, pastor's wife that seems to be the ideal. I find I have a better time with my faith when it's okay that I'm loud, and sarcastic, a musician who can't decide if they even want kids, and someone who probably slips up with cuss words far too much for anyone else's comfort zone. I don't pray enough, or read my Bible, but I do try to have a relationship with God. I probably screw it up more than I get it right, but I'll keep trying until I can no longer do so. Having a faith crisis while at a Christian school is probably a bit weird, but then again, maybe not.

~Allison