A brilliant beautiful Tuesday

Yet again, Seattle blessed us with a beautiful sunny day, and I got reminded how terribly pale I am. Seriously, I glow.

I discovered a really interesting article today, on my favorite horn related site. It was discussing the drama that often occurs in the music world, and its relation to the Karpman Drama Triangle. There are three points to this triangle (but only one person): the Rescuer, the Victim and the Persecutor. It's not the persecutor who starts this vicious cycle, however, it's the Rescuer. Here's what Mr. Hembd had to say about the Rescuer:

Rescuers are fairly easy to spot. They get caught up in enabling and helping people – whether they need it or not. They see themselves as good and doing good for other people. Their approach can vary, ranging from soft-and-gentle (passive aggression), all the way up to being assertive and bossy (active aggression).

They offer unsolicited advice and will rationalize it as “I care so much” or “I am just trying to help.” Rescuers are generally not aware that pity and disrespect are often at the core of their behavior ( i.e. “I know what’s best for you”). (...)

A Rescuer will typically slide into feeling victimized (“Poor me, I give so much, yet no one returns my efforts or truly recognizes them”). In time a Rescuer will even grow to resent their target (“That jerk just doesn’t get it. Why did I waste my time?”).

This cycle goes round and round, and with each shift in roles there is Drama, hence the name of the model. What is most destructive with this cycle for musicians is that it is all about the Drama, which ultimately stands in the way of problem-solving and progress.

My eyes have been opened. Honestly, I've always understood this cycle, to some extent, and understood the roles of the Victim and the Persecutor, but never had thought about the Rescuer. Suddenly I can identify where so much drama has started in my life, and I really can't be surprised any more when drama crops up because I feel that I'll be able to identify the source (especially in my own thinking, when I'm the one causing the drama) and really be able to quell it before it even begins. Who'd a thunk?

The author does state that one of the best options for avoiding this as musicians (and people really) is to pull away from the problem. He says, "What the drama triangle illustrates for us as musicians is the value of being non-reactive, and somewhat detached and non-judgmental in our practice."

He does also note that this doesn't mean be completely devoid of emotion, but rather identify the source of the emotion, and find an appropriate reaction rather than speaking out rashly.

--If you want to read the article, here's the link--

Favorite hilarious forum discovery of the day:

Handspun? Dang, I’m jealous! You know how to spin.
I have a top whorl drop spindle and a bit of roving and a book - I really want to learn this so I can make my life even more complicated than usual by knitting socks (hah!) with yarn I spun myself… very small socks - perhaps earring-sized socks or pendant socks or amulet-bag socks or even keychain socks…or maybe just part of a sock, say an elegant toe or a smashing ribby cuff…or a single heel flap dangling from the beginnings of one gusset…

Maybe I should work The Secret (TM) on it: you know, INTEND to spin and INTEND to knit socks from the yarn I spin - intend VERY DILIGENTLY and VERY HARD and FOR A LONG TIME, think positively sock-tastic thoughts, intend - intend - think hard - see myself walking in transparent clogs, showing off two knitted objects more or less covering my feet - more or less the same size, more or less the same shape; color matching optional, also pattern consistency - just make ‘em wearable…It’s artistic license, stop laughing.
Want perfect Kitchener? Just visualize it really hard. Ask the Universe for it. And it shall be done. Make it so, Universe. Make it so. And while you’re at it, manifest me that second sock…

~Allie