It's halfway through December, and the preparations for the holidays is in full swing. Benaroya looks gorgeous right now, I have to say. There are silver and blue decorated garlands and wreaths everywhere, and every night brings a different holiday-themed production.
It's been fun transitioning to full-time work right as the holidays are coming up. There haven't been many days where I ponder how I'm supposed to fill 35 hours worth of work time, since every week brings new big projects to get done. I most recently was tasked with a rather large project of moving everyone who purchased tickets to a lecture in our smaller hall (~550 seats) into comparable seats in our large auditorium (~2500 seats). Every day is different, but I'm starting to have the occasional work-related dream/nightmare, so I guess that means I'm putting my time in! I'll be a little sad when the new year comes and the box office quiets down before subscription renewal time...there's something fun about trying to keep ahead of all this stuff! Plus, coming to work is my favorite excuse to feel festive with all the decorations.
I wish I had a Christmas tree at home to decorate. Unfortunately, the hose on our vacuum (Mom, I just had to type it both ways to remember if it's two u's or two c's. I'm pointing to you on this one.) decided to rip apart, so for now, we're without one. This led to the decision that getting a live tree, no matter how small, would cause a mess that we would have no way to clean up. It's okay, maybe next year will get to be a festive year!
I think I'm looking forward to New Year's Eve the most of all the holidays this year. While Thanksgiving was a quiet family affair (with delicious food!), and Christmas will most likely be low-key due to being smashed between two work days, NYE looks to prove itself a grand time. I'm hoping to get to go to the concert and after-party that Seattle Symphony is hosting, and also to use it as an excuse to pull out one of my recital gowns. I'll probably be overdressed, but on such an amazing occasion (which starts with the main theme from Star Wars!!!), why not go a little overboard?
It's also amazing to realize that with the new year comes loan repayments, as I've now been out of school for nearly six months. Where has the time gone? While it doesn't exactly feel like yesterday that I was giving my senior recital, I still feel like part of me is waiting for the day I'll be "out in the world." Apparently my brain hasn't realized that has happened. I'm not a student, but I'm not a working professional either...even though I am.
Chris and I had a long discussion over the last few days about what it's like to be out of school and just maintaining a job. It's amazing how much you learn about yourself when you're not spending every waking moment worried about school, life, music, friends, etc. I have a lot more quiet time to sit and think about what I'm doing and why I'm doing it. It's actually a relief to have the chance to really come to terms with what drives me to be a professional classical musician.
I'm definitely a work in progress, but I would hope that's how all of us should be. No one is interesting when they've become stagnant and unwilling to change their ways as they progress in life. I'm enjoying finding out what makes me, me. Results are yet to be determined, but I'm sure someday I'll figure it out! The one adjective I'm beginning to see stand out for me (at least in what other people say) is tenacious. I'm content with that one!
I'm also happy to say that lessons are going well, and that while all my time is spent working on the most basic things, my playing has gotten exponentially better. Funny how you can improve a ton on a wind instrument when you learn how to properly use your air. At my most recent lesson, I think I may have actually impressed my teacher, since I successfully used all the skills we had been working on for the entire lesson and did it with musicality while playing a movement from the first Bach Cello Suite. Paraphrased, he said something to the effect of, "If you can keep that up, you're really close to your goal." I'll take it! Now to get back to the awesome trend of practicing before work and often during my lunch break. It's a slower path to getting on to grad school, but I'm still chugging along!
Saturday, December 14, 2013
Friday, November 15, 2013
The ups and downs we face
I have exciting news to share:
For the first time in a long while, I am completely out of credit card debt! I was worried that I wouldn't have my debt paid off before student loans kick into gear in January, but at least the most expensive layer of it has been! (I still have money owed for my horn, but that's a manageable amount) I also am proud to report that I cut up the card that has cost me the most money over the last couple years.
The unfortunate other side of the coin is that I just found out what my medical bills will be for an uninsured visit to the ER a couple weeks ago. I'm hoping and praying that there will be financial aid available, and a decent payment plan. Otherwise I will most definitely need to defer loan payments for a few months while I figure this all out.
Have I mentioned adulthood is hard?
~Allison
For the first time in a long while, I am completely out of credit card debt! I was worried that I wouldn't have my debt paid off before student loans kick into gear in January, but at least the most expensive layer of it has been! (I still have money owed for my horn, but that's a manageable amount) I also am proud to report that I cut up the card that has cost me the most money over the last couple years.
The unfortunate other side of the coin is that I just found out what my medical bills will be for an uninsured visit to the ER a couple weeks ago. I'm hoping and praying that there will be financial aid available, and a decent payment plan. Otherwise I will most definitely need to defer loan payments for a few months while I figure this all out.
Have I mentioned adulthood is hard?
~Allison
Saturday, November 9, 2013
More major life changes
It's amazing how much life can just keep changing. In fact, it boggles my mind how many times I've updated my blog this year with a discussion about how life is changing. Perhaps this is normal considering I just finished up college and have joined the real world.
I recently got promoted at my job working in the box office for the symphony. I'm now a full-time employee, which means more hours, plus benefits, a monthly bus pass, and my own desk! I even got a plant for my desk, since I decided it needed a little color.
(Yes, that is a stuffed lobster on the divider between my desk and my coworkers. No, I don't know why it's there...)
This also meant that I have enough income to only have one job. I haven't had nearly enough time to practice my horn, so it will be a relief to know that each week I'll be working a maximum of 40 hours, rather than averaging around 45. It was bittersweet turning in my two-weeks notice at Starbucks, after working there for a year and a half. On one hand, I'll be glad to stop having outrageously early mornings and always looking terrible after getting done with a shift, but on the other hand, I'll miss my coworkers a lot.
Meanwhile, life can be summarized as "always being provided for." Major bills suddenly started popping up, but then I got my tuition payment for grad school refunded. Student loans are looming, but I now have the ability to work one full-time, well-paying job.
I like feeling less stressed, and will enjoy getting all that time to practice so soon! (And knit, and spin, and do everything else I miss getting to do)
~Allison
I recently got promoted at my job working in the box office for the symphony. I'm now a full-time employee, which means more hours, plus benefits, a monthly bus pass, and my own desk! I even got a plant for my desk, since I decided it needed a little color.
This also meant that I have enough income to only have one job. I haven't had nearly enough time to practice my horn, so it will be a relief to know that each week I'll be working a maximum of 40 hours, rather than averaging around 45. It was bittersweet turning in my two-weeks notice at Starbucks, after working there for a year and a half. On one hand, I'll be glad to stop having outrageously early mornings and always looking terrible after getting done with a shift, but on the other hand, I'll miss my coworkers a lot.
Meanwhile, life can be summarized as "always being provided for." Major bills suddenly started popping up, but then I got my tuition payment for grad school refunded. Student loans are looming, but I now have the ability to work one full-time, well-paying job.
I like feeling less stressed, and will enjoy getting all that time to practice so soon! (And knit, and spin, and do everything else I miss getting to do)
~Allison
Thursday, November 7, 2013
Tidbit of the day
I had a nice Australian man pull me aside in Target to ask my opinion on canned pumpkin pie fillings. Apparently as an American, I have discerning tastes. Or at least I would know what the difference was between the two.
Glad to know that my country of birth gives me the knowledge necessary to create a pumpkin pie, but not from scratch. (*laughing*)
Glad to know that my country of birth gives me the knowledge necessary to create a pumpkin pie, but not from scratch. (*laughing*)
Wednesday, November 6, 2013
Educating the public
I have AD/HD. I'm not hyperactive; my subset of the condition is primarily inattentive type. I was diagnosed in 7th grade, and tried a couple different types of medications until finding the one that worked best for my needs. I'm pretty open about this, mostly because while I don't think it "defines" me as a person, it does impact how I live my life.
Recently, I found out I would be without medical insurance coverage for about a month. (I also managed to visit a hospital within hours of not having coverage...because that was a good idea :P More on that later) Because of the short notice, I was unable to get prescription coverage for my AD/HD medication, and will not be able to do so until my new coverage from work kicks into effect in December.
I do pretty well making up for not having the meds. I generally do my best to grab a cup of coffee to help me focus at least a little, and to make up for the higher rate of exhaustion that I end up feeling. I make sure to sleep more, to help my brain recharge. And I make sure I always have post-it notes everywhere at work to take notes when tons of information is getting thrown at me at once.
Today, in the bi-monthly meeting at work, I was working to concentrate, and needed something physical to occupy the distracted portions of my brain. I grabbed a pen and a post-it, and started drawing curly cues. My boss, standing beside me, whispered loudly, "Allison, concentrate on the meeting!"
Now, this puts me in a tough spot. Don't get me wrong, I'll keep my mouth shut about the reason why I was doodling, and not retort that I was paying attention. But there is that overwhelming urge to educate said manager that it actually was more distracting for her to reprimand me and distract me from the conversation in the room than it was for my absent-minded drawing. I don't want to make excuses about how my neural synapses send plenty of messages, but that their arrival at their final destination is as reliable as USPS during a snowstorm. (Nothing against postal workers. I think you guys do great work.) I just got frustrated having someone assume that I was zoning out when I was actually doing what I could to concentrate.
A couple years ago, while in college, I had a professor do something similar. She pulled me aside outside of class one day, and made a remark basically telling me how much she disapproved of the fact that I was knitting in her class during lectures. I took the chance to explain to her that during lectures, I find it really hard to pay attention for any length of time, and taking notes ends up derailing me more than keeping me on track. So, I told her, my coping mechanism was to knit something simple and mindless to help keep the rest of my brain going in the right direction. Coincidentally, the class I was taking was Psychology of Music, so I suppose I would have hoped that a psychology/music professor would be understanding. (She was, post-explanation.)
It bothers me when people say that I definitely couldn't be AD/HD, because I'm not bouncing off the walls. Or when someone tells me that they think that it doesn't really exist because some person in their family told them so. Or that the medication is a stupid idea because some person they know who got diagnosed with it found out they could function better without it than with it. Every person is different. Just because a lot of my friends can drink 3 or 4 alcoholic drinks without getting drunk doesn't mean I can, so why would anyone assume that all people with AD/HD would take the same medications, or function the same way.
The world we live in isn't as compromising to different methods of working than it used to be. Look at our school system: Sit still in a desk for 6+ hours a day, with few breaks (especially in secondary school), and being expected to take notes, understand information, and spew it back onto very structured tests. I thrived when I got to college because I got to set my schedule, and my major was a lot more flexible. Now it's back to that world of sitting still for X-amount of hours a day, processing information and spewing it back into the correct format. It's not hard, but it can be challenging, especially without the help of medication to get those messages from the synapses to the receptors.
The point of all of this? If you don't know about the way someone's brain works, don't assume they're purposely ignoring you because they're doodling on a piece of paper. They might actually be doing exactly what they need to do to pay the best attention to you.
Recently, I found out I would be without medical insurance coverage for about a month. (I also managed to visit a hospital within hours of not having coverage...because that was a good idea :P More on that later) Because of the short notice, I was unable to get prescription coverage for my AD/HD medication, and will not be able to do so until my new coverage from work kicks into effect in December.
I do pretty well making up for not having the meds. I generally do my best to grab a cup of coffee to help me focus at least a little, and to make up for the higher rate of exhaustion that I end up feeling. I make sure to sleep more, to help my brain recharge. And I make sure I always have post-it notes everywhere at work to take notes when tons of information is getting thrown at me at once.
Today, in the bi-monthly meeting at work, I was working to concentrate, and needed something physical to occupy the distracted portions of my brain. I grabbed a pen and a post-it, and started drawing curly cues. My boss, standing beside me, whispered loudly, "Allison, concentrate on the meeting!"
Now, this puts me in a tough spot. Don't get me wrong, I'll keep my mouth shut about the reason why I was doodling, and not retort that I was paying attention. But there is that overwhelming urge to educate said manager that it actually was more distracting for her to reprimand me and distract me from the conversation in the room than it was for my absent-minded drawing. I don't want to make excuses about how my neural synapses send plenty of messages, but that their arrival at their final destination is as reliable as USPS during a snowstorm. (Nothing against postal workers. I think you guys do great work.) I just got frustrated having someone assume that I was zoning out when I was actually doing what I could to concentrate.
A couple years ago, while in college, I had a professor do something similar. She pulled me aside outside of class one day, and made a remark basically telling me how much she disapproved of the fact that I was knitting in her class during lectures. I took the chance to explain to her that during lectures, I find it really hard to pay attention for any length of time, and taking notes ends up derailing me more than keeping me on track. So, I told her, my coping mechanism was to knit something simple and mindless to help keep the rest of my brain going in the right direction. Coincidentally, the class I was taking was Psychology of Music, so I suppose I would have hoped that a psychology/music professor would be understanding. (She was, post-explanation.)
It bothers me when people say that I definitely couldn't be AD/HD, because I'm not bouncing off the walls. Or when someone tells me that they think that it doesn't really exist because some person in their family told them so. Or that the medication is a stupid idea because some person they know who got diagnosed with it found out they could function better without it than with it. Every person is different. Just because a lot of my friends can drink 3 or 4 alcoholic drinks without getting drunk doesn't mean I can, so why would anyone assume that all people with AD/HD would take the same medications, or function the same way.
The world we live in isn't as compromising to different methods of working than it used to be. Look at our school system: Sit still in a desk for 6+ hours a day, with few breaks (especially in secondary school), and being expected to take notes, understand information, and spew it back onto very structured tests. I thrived when I got to college because I got to set my schedule, and my major was a lot more flexible. Now it's back to that world of sitting still for X-amount of hours a day, processing information and spewing it back into the correct format. It's not hard, but it can be challenging, especially without the help of medication to get those messages from the synapses to the receptors.
The point of all of this? If you don't know about the way someone's brain works, don't assume they're purposely ignoring you because they're doodling on a piece of paper. They might actually be doing exactly what they need to do to pay the best attention to you.
Wednesday, October 16, 2013
The little things that count
Sometimes, it ends up being all about the little happy things in your day that make it a good day. When you have the schedule I do for the next couple weeks, those little things begin to be what you cling to.
I warned one of my managers this week as soon as I got my second job's schedule that I might get a little crazy next week, after I'll have been working for well over a week straight. In fact, technically as far as I have scheduled, I'm working for two weeks straight without a single true day off. Chris reminded me that now my half days are going to have to become my mental days off, considering most of the time I have most of the day to myself, while popping into work for 3-5 hours at some point in the day.
With that set up placed, I've already started getting tired, and we're only on day three. Part of that is my own fault for staying up later than I should have last night (because who isn't pumped up after playing Shostakovitch and Berlioz?), and part of it was due to a not-great night of sleep.
I made the executive decision today that I would need to grab a coffee at the Starbucks just down the hallway from work, and since I forgot to buy breakfast groceries yesterday, needed to grab breakfast too. When I got to the counter, both baristas looked at my face and asked if I wanted a double shot in my mocha rather than just the single. Because I'm on the broke side, I knew I really couldn't afford the extra shot, and I probably wouldn't need it anyway. Well, apparently the barista making my drink "accidentally" pushed the double shot button rather than the single. I didn't argue, but I did smile about her thoughtfulness (whether on purpose, or not).
When I did get into the office, I found out that I was the morning person on the window, which isn't really my favorite, but it generally is a quiet place to be. (Seeing as I'm currently updating my blog after doing all of my side tasks...) My first customer of the morning was an elderly man and his wife who had waited for months to hear about the In the Mood performance in March, and upon hearing that sales started at 10 am this morning, decided to wait right at my window to make sure he could get exactly the seat he always sits in. Most of the time those types of people can be really hard to deal with, but he and his wife were very patient (I think they could see the coffee beside my computer and the dark circles under my eyes), had a great sense of humor, and in general were a good way to start my day.
Of course, like any day, it's had its ups and downs. I've now spent three hours on this blog, which means different events keep happening. I did just have the opportunity to have a several minute conversation with the new Associate Conductor of SSO, who is a mere 7 years older than I am. I asked him how he did it, after prefacing my question by stating that I was going to be candid. He started his sentence with, "Well, when I went to Julliard..." I think there's no choice where I should go to graduate school if I want to get somewhere...or something. That will be something to ponder. For someone who is already so successful in their career though, he's super friendly and down to earth.
I also can't be too unhappy about this day because I may have just gotten contacted for a gig. It means fudging my work schedule (again) and now stretching a long weekend of performances into two weeks of performances, but how can you complain? Here's to hoping this all works out...though if the mood swings of all of today's revelations continue, I think I might go batty.
I didn't really intend this post to become an ongoing status update of sorts when I started it. I really only wanted to post a little tidbit of happiness, and then interesting things kept happening. The whole point being that as long as I keep focusing on the positive, I will be able to keep optimistic, even when life is getting a bit crazy.
I warned one of my managers this week as soon as I got my second job's schedule that I might get a little crazy next week, after I'll have been working for well over a week straight. In fact, technically as far as I have scheduled, I'm working for two weeks straight without a single true day off. Chris reminded me that now my half days are going to have to become my mental days off, considering most of the time I have most of the day to myself, while popping into work for 3-5 hours at some point in the day.
With that set up placed, I've already started getting tired, and we're only on day three. Part of that is my own fault for staying up later than I should have last night (because who isn't pumped up after playing Shostakovitch and Berlioz?), and part of it was due to a not-great night of sleep.
I made the executive decision today that I would need to grab a coffee at the Starbucks just down the hallway from work, and since I forgot to buy breakfast groceries yesterday, needed to grab breakfast too. When I got to the counter, both baristas looked at my face and asked if I wanted a double shot in my mocha rather than just the single. Because I'm on the broke side, I knew I really couldn't afford the extra shot, and I probably wouldn't need it anyway. Well, apparently the barista making my drink "accidentally" pushed the double shot button rather than the single. I didn't argue, but I did smile about her thoughtfulness (whether on purpose, or not).
When I did get into the office, I found out that I was the morning person on the window, which isn't really my favorite, but it generally is a quiet place to be. (Seeing as I'm currently updating my blog after doing all of my side tasks...) My first customer of the morning was an elderly man and his wife who had waited for months to hear about the In the Mood performance in March, and upon hearing that sales started at 10 am this morning, decided to wait right at my window to make sure he could get exactly the seat he always sits in. Most of the time those types of people can be really hard to deal with, but he and his wife were very patient (I think they could see the coffee beside my computer and the dark circles under my eyes), had a great sense of humor, and in general were a good way to start my day.
Of course, like any day, it's had its ups and downs. I've now spent three hours on this blog, which means different events keep happening. I did just have the opportunity to have a several minute conversation with the new Associate Conductor of SSO, who is a mere 7 years older than I am. I asked him how he did it, after prefacing my question by stating that I was going to be candid. He started his sentence with, "Well, when I went to Julliard..." I think there's no choice where I should go to graduate school if I want to get somewhere...or something. That will be something to ponder. For someone who is already so successful in their career though, he's super friendly and down to earth.
I also can't be too unhappy about this day because I may have just gotten contacted for a gig. It means fudging my work schedule (again) and now stretching a long weekend of performances into two weeks of performances, but how can you complain? Here's to hoping this all works out...though if the mood swings of all of today's revelations continue, I think I might go batty.
I didn't really intend this post to become an ongoing status update of sorts when I started it. I really only wanted to post a little tidbit of happiness, and then interesting things kept happening. The whole point being that as long as I keep focusing on the positive, I will be able to keep optimistic, even when life is getting a bit crazy.
Monday, October 14, 2013
To my friends currently in school...
I wanted you to know I commend you. I'm proud of you. And I'm a little bit jealous, too.
It's easy to settle into the post-college mindset of working full-time, and pondering how hard your life is. Gosh, weren't those the days when all you had to do was get up, look presentable, and head to a large room to listen to someone talk at you at length about something they are an expert of?
The reality, I'm realizing, is that while working full-time is difficult, so was school. And while in comparison to what I'm doing now, school seemed simple, I also remember how much I wished to just go join the "real world" and be working rather than just doing homework. The type of difficulty is different.
I recently got reminded that working full-time isn't superior to going to school full-time. And with that reminder came the acknowledgment that I had recently become downright condescending of people who were students. I was wrong. To be blunt, you guys are working your asses off, and with little tangible reward. I, at least, work lots of hours and end up with some type of paycheck. And when I get done with work, I don't have to go home and do more of it.
I miss the flexibility I had in college the most. My professors were amazingly understanding when I would inform them that I might miss a lecture because of the opportunity to play a gig that coincided. Jobs aren't nearly as understanding.
I have more time to have hobbies. I have less time to build up my embouchure and work on my actual music career. My life revolves around the paychecks coming in, and the checks I'm writing to pay that money away. It's a little depressing, and a little freeing, because it leaves decisions up to me. I'm learning lessons that I wish I had learned in college about the consequences of not paying attention to my money, and realizing that having fun now when I can't afford it, leads to even less fun further down the road. I hated hearing that from others, but now it's my turn to state it.
Growing up is hard. Life is hard. But my goal is to learn from it, and keep moving forward!
P.S. If anyone was interested in seeing me play, I've got a whole herd of performances coming up in November! Wagner, Shostakovitch, Ewazen, and more!
It's easy to settle into the post-college mindset of working full-time, and pondering how hard your life is. Gosh, weren't those the days when all you had to do was get up, look presentable, and head to a large room to listen to someone talk at you at length about something they are an expert of?
The reality, I'm realizing, is that while working full-time is difficult, so was school. And while in comparison to what I'm doing now, school seemed simple, I also remember how much I wished to just go join the "real world" and be working rather than just doing homework. The type of difficulty is different.
I recently got reminded that working full-time isn't superior to going to school full-time. And with that reminder came the acknowledgment that I had recently become downright condescending of people who were students. I was wrong. To be blunt, you guys are working your asses off, and with little tangible reward. I, at least, work lots of hours and end up with some type of paycheck. And when I get done with work, I don't have to go home and do more of it.
I miss the flexibility I had in college the most. My professors were amazingly understanding when I would inform them that I might miss a lecture because of the opportunity to play a gig that coincided. Jobs aren't nearly as understanding.
I have more time to have hobbies. I have less time to build up my embouchure and work on my actual music career. My life revolves around the paychecks coming in, and the checks I'm writing to pay that money away. It's a little depressing, and a little freeing, because it leaves decisions up to me. I'm learning lessons that I wish I had learned in college about the consequences of not paying attention to my money, and realizing that having fun now when I can't afford it, leads to even less fun further down the road. I hated hearing that from others, but now it's my turn to state it.
Growing up is hard. Life is hard. But my goal is to learn from it, and keep moving forward!
P.S. If anyone was interested in seeing me play, I've got a whole herd of performances coming up in November! Wagner, Shostakovitch, Ewazen, and more!
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